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Tycho

We’ve got a new strip up.  We do that sort of thing.

We played Resident Evil for the second evening in a row, and I truly envy a person going through this for the first time.  Yeah, it has the same old shitty RE controls, without the superior mobility afforded by the series’ third installment, Nemesis.  It’s still a triumph.  Back in the day, Evil Dead tackled video backgrounds, which were really intriguing in parts but served as a backdrop to a criminally shitty game.  The Fear Effects did video too, but they weren’t going for anything approaching something that would be mistaken for imagery that was close to other graphics which were situated anywhere near others that looked in any way realistic.  By contrast, we’ll look at a given scene in Resident Evil and have no idea how it was constructed.  When was the last time that happened?  Is that video down there?  We don’t know.  I’m fain to mention specific “holy shit” instances, because there’s still a chance you broke your leg or something and couldn’t go get it.  Well, you need to.  The parts you remember will directly stimulate your nostalgia cortex, while the new stuff and the new look will fuck your brain right out of your head.  Seriously.  You’re going to be, like, “Where’s my Goddamn brain, oh right, RE fucked it out.” 

In short, the new RE is satisfying beyond the realms of satiation. 

I was hoping to do a Spider-Man comic for Friday, trying to get in on this Spidey Fridey thing r. stevens had going on, but it just didn’t happen.  We may pop on later with unsolicited opinions on the film, I know I will at least, and you will be made to endure them.  Even Brenna wants to go, which is virtually unprecedented.   

Sometimes when we have something really intrusting on tap, E3 let’s say, I grapple with whether or not I should actually say anything.  It’s just propriety that makes me feel this way, and obviously I say it anyhow, but it is a concept I refer to internally as The Turkey Principle (T2P).  Like so:

“On the 21st of May, tender birds not unlike the one you see on the left will be placed before my ready knife and fork.  You, yourself, could not possibly access a feast approaching this threshhold of succulence.  This cunning fowl, fed a strict diet and conforming to the most rigorous metrics of quality, will yield to my dark appetites like a Flavor Harem, performing a sensual dance before I consume it with the precision of a controlled burn.”

I don’t want to be the guy who discusses his inaccessible turkey at length.  At the same time, a light description of it (think “Harlequin Romance,” soft porn) might be better than nothing, so here goes.  For some reason unbeknownst to us, Amazon - yes, the book Amazon - has asked us to interview humans from the Star Wars Galaxies team.  We won’t be allowing Batjew into this, because any questions Batjew might ask would focus on a) Juice, or b) the exact time and location of the next Pizza Party.  Anyhow, I’ll toss up a thread on the phorum closer to the event, and we’ll snare a few good q’s out of that.  Next item:  as has become a tradition, we’ll be seeing Neverwinter Nights again this year, but it’s far enough along now that I doubt we’ll be able to take advantage of their northern bounty ever again.  This year’s display apparently revolves around actually playing it for an hour or so, which leads me to believe that we’ll have some extremely solid information for you.  The third thing we have set up, just did this one actually, is to see an overview of the Xbox online service, Xbox Live.  Two years ago, Square’s presentation for their “PlayOnline” service really shook me up.  It pointed toward an elegant, global network with the assurance that we were almost there - and now that it’s almost here, what I know already makes me think that Xbox Live is underpinned by a more holistic strategy. In any event, we’ll know very soon.   

I want to pick up Morrowind, as my simian associate has, but I think everybody likes to read a review, even of a game they know they’re going to buy.  My only concern is that I won’t be seeing the whole game without at least a Geforce 3, as some of the things I’ve seen in shots look to be generated with.  I just haven’t felt the need to buy one, yet.  “Curse you, progress” I suppose, but I can hardly ever find a time where three hundred dollars doesn’t leave a gaping wound in my finances.

Karen wanted me to let you know that the latest installment of Love & Hate is available.  She probably didn’t want me to let you know that she behaves like a Wet Cat in it, but it’s really to late to do anything about that.

(CW)TB out.

like chicken cordon bleu

Tycho

Tron 2.0 looks really cool.  That is all.

(CW)TB

Gabe

The Spiderman movie is the reason god invented the cinema.

-Gabe out

Tycho

Other than that, Gabe and I are in perfect agreement.

(CW)TB

Gabe

Nothing I do is ever good enough for you. Sorry I’m not fucking perfect like you!

-Gabe out

Tycho

Other than that, Gabe and I are in perfect agreement.

(CW)TB

Safety Monkey

Tycho, stop grabbing Gabe’s hair.  Gabe, give Tycho his toy back.  If the two of you don’t stop it right now, I’m going to turn this comic strip right around, do you hear me?

- Monkey

Batjew

So is this retarded bickering going to be a new feature?  I thought I told you idiots to shut up.

ALSO: to all the idiots that keep writing Kara and I about the “Cat” thing from the latest Love & Hate, let me see if I have this right… so what you’re saying is that he wasn’t writing about a girl at all, but an actual cat?  Wow, HOO-boy do I feel dumb now, THANKS.

JEW LINKS HAPPY FUN MUSIC

Go buy one of the new Kompressor World Tour shirts.  Also, buy a CD.  Normally I hate this sort of thing, but Kompressor threatens to CRUSH that Wishbone-loving, hip-hopping menace MC Frontalot in one of the opening tracks.  If you love Wesley Willis and angry Germans, you’ll dig Kompressor.

And speaking of world tours, one of my favorite bands, Shiner is currently touring the west coast.  You can listen to streaming versions of their albums and find the previously mentioned tour dates.  Tell ‘em Batjew sent you.  Or go to their site and listen to their music then write me to say loving things like “You listen to this horrible garbage and dare make fun of rap??!?!  Rap is the best!  Well, not all rap, but all the stuff you’ve never heard of is the best! Well, no wait.. not all of it.. but two or three guys that do this thing where they talk about how politics and are really smart about it and you should get cancer because you don’t like it!!  CANCER!!!!