Without warning, vile continuity struck in the night.
I want to talk about Morrowind some more.
Because I was in the thick of it, I neglected to mention something that might have been better said earlier: I had to backrev my drivers to get the game to load, let alone run. I haven’t had trouble with my other games because of it, but they tend to be Quake 3 based, and nVidia is always the compatibility king for those anyhow so I didn’t much expect it. The game itself whisked me away from the moment I got the proud wheels turning, so it’s a credit to Bethesda that I had to actively remember it being broken.
I found a naked man (in the game), and he said that a witch he’d been with cast a spell on him and stripped him buck nekkid, and then took his magic axe, and was I going to help him find her or not? Having had a similar experience in high school, I was happy to help him handle his girl problems. Except, when I find her, she says she had to paralyze him because he kept trying to introduce her to a friend of his, which he referred to as “Mr. Frisky.” I have to say that I was not in the mood for any of this. This isn’t Loveline, and I’m not Doctor Fucking Drew. I’m a Goddamn, six-and-a-half foot, bipedal tiger who thinks your whole species looks delicious. I stuck the both of them with my long sword, took the axe for myself, and chalked up two for sensible discourse between the sexes. Welcome to cat country.
I killed somebody else for her boots, and I can’t even wear boots. My legs bend in the middle. I only wanted them because they were shiny.
I never do this kind of stuff, I’ve been virtuous in practically every game I’ve played, all the way up to age twenty-six. I don’t know what it is about Morrowind that makes me a bad kitty, but I crave it now. The more I play it, like I said, the more the seams of the experience will start to show - I’ll relate those here. But so far, the only problem I have with the game isn’t something in there, it’s something left out. After AC, AO, and DA, I get so lonely playing a game like this by myself. Now, this loneliness is something they’ve tried specifically to create in this game, because your character (regardless of how you construct it) isn’t from there. But it’s more than that. Like System Shock 2, no one character can possibly excel at every one of the rich careers - but they’re so complementary that you can’t help but imagine a few paired classes raising hell. If I weren’t enjoying the game so much, it wouldn’t matter. It would be on and off my platter before the data had time to fragment. But when I have something this good, it is my natural instinct to share it. I just wish they would let me.
I’m overjoyed. A few weeks ago, I linked to John Scalzi’s Whatever column, fortified as I was by his suggestions on how to write him better hate mail. Imagine my surprise when he asked to sponsor a week of Penny Arcade with two of his writing projects. First and foremost, he’s finished his novel Agent To The Stars, which he’s chosen to release as shareware - you know the drill, if you like it, drop the man a couple bucks. On the strip page, he’s also flashing his indie music review site, Indie Crit. I’d be lying if I said I’d heard of ninety-five percent of those bands. I just like the way he writes.
Oh, one more thing.
the sheep are styrofoam