Penny Arcade

The dream, as related here, is completely accurate.  But I would like to emphasize that we know absolutely nothing about playing the game, and indeed, we are not actively playing it.  We are not intrigued by the unprecedented crafting options, nor do we find the rich palette of social options titillating.  We certainly haven’t signed some sort of Non-Disclosure Agreement related to it, if that’s what you mean.

We wrote the strip before every PR department in gaming cried havoc and let slip the dogs of information, and as such it reflects the calm and tranquil world before we were exposed to invigorating data.  All sorts of games, new and old, looking very exciting - but if it came right down to it, I would take a Tribes 3 by Irrational Games over a Half-Life 2 on any day you would care to mention.  That isn’t an insult to Half-Life, it’s a compliment to Tribes 3 and an indicator of my faith in Irrational and in the franchise.  I don’t know how many of you bought Starsiege, back in the day - or remember that the official name for Tribes is Starsiege: Tribes.  There is some really cool fiction that underpins the universe those games take place in, as evinced by the plump Universe book that came with Starsiege, and I’m very curious to know how far back Irrational is going to generate this single player campaign. 

Also, I don’t put much stock in Nintendo rumors, for two reasons.  One, Nintendo is a fairly conservative company, and when I say “fairly” I mean that they epitomize the term.  If you read an exciting rumor about Nintendo, discard it because it is probably not true.  They make their games, some of the best games in the industry, at a glacial pace and virtually all of them are based on existing, beloved intellectual property.  The second reason is that all this exciting stuff gets said before E3, tantalizing rumors about 3D screens and online shit and rare new Yeti controllers, and though I’ve seen stuff there that really impressed me none of it came out of left field.  They always put on a good booth that leaves me smiling, but I’ve never been like, “Holy Shit, they have altered (or suspended) physical law with their magnificent thing.” 

I’m going to have to play a lot more Enemy Territory before I know how I feel about it.  At the moment, it seems as though - like myself - it needs a good editor.  It is jammed with great ideas, and when I play it, it is like a box of mice that has been shaken vigorously.  All these ideas mewling for attention, and all they want is love.  Perhaps you see, now, what I was saying about editors. 

Strawberry Shortcake Update:  I have mails in to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, and I’m supposed to talk with a person from the ACLU today.  I don’t think this is something we can do without a Sugar Daddy.

(CW)TB out.

a rum pa pum pum

You may already know Kwip (Of NeenerNeener fame), but if not, this is a perfect time to acquaint yourself.  Hit up the impassioned oratory over at his site, and see if there is any way you can help on this MS walk thing.  If you do, send a mail to the ClubPA account and let me know.  God only knows what you’ll end up with.

(CW)TB

We are apparently experiencing some isses with the DNS for the site, which is making it so about half of the world can’t see it.  I think it’s marvelous, with fewer readers we should regain our indie patina in no time.

(CW)TB

There are parts of this dream that make no sense to me and then there are parts that are fairly obvious. It is no surprise that I am excited about SWG for example. Some people though have asked why in the hell I would want it to come out on the Neo. Well I don’t. I think the reason the Neo is in the dream is because I have spent a lot of time thinking about SNK vs. Capcom: Chaos lately. In case you have not been following this game it’s a vs. style fighter made by Playmore (SNK) for the Neo-Geo hradware. Playmore just released some new info about it the other day. Here are the character rosters for both the SNK and Capcom sides.

A couple pretty interesting choices I think. Earthquake and Shiki on the SNK side might seem like odd choices to those of you who are only familiar with the King of Fighters games. Earthquake appeared back in Samurai Shodown 1, 2 and then in the RPG. I think it’s cool they picked him for the roster but I think Shiki is the real treat on the SNK side. You would have to be a pretty hardcore SNK fan to really be into here as she has not made her way into many games. She first appeared in Samurai Shodown 64. This was one of the first games to come out for the doomed Hyper 64 arcade system from SNK. The technology was designed to bring their popular 2D franchises into the 3D world but it never caught on with gamers. She popped up later in Samurai Spirits on the NGPC and a couple other games. She is one of the coolest female characters in any 2D fighter with her twin Wakizashis and I’m really excited to see her brought back for SvC:Chaos.

On the Capcom side the surprises are Hugo and Tabasa. Now I am assuming that “Tabasa” is actually Tessa from Red Earth (A.K.A. Warzard, the first game for Capcom’s CPS III hardware) and Pocket Fighter. SNK must really like her as they also chose her for the Capcom roster in Card Fighters clash on the NGPC. If you aren’t familiar with her you should pick up Pocket fighter for the PSX as finding a Red Earth machine is all but impossible. Hell you should go buy Pocket fighter even if you are familiar with her, it’s a fucking awesome game. Just don’t ever play Tycho at it.

Hugo first appeared back in the day in a little game called Final fight. He showed up again in Street Fighter Alpha 3 in the background of Cody’s stage. He became a playable character in Street Fighter 3 Second Impact and Third Strike.  SF3 was a game that I missed in the arcade but really enjoyed when it popped up on the Dreamcast. Here is another game that used Capcom’s underappreciated CPS III hardware. If you still have a DC lying around I highly recommend picking up a copy. SF3 is a throwback to the good old days of SF. It has much simpler play mechanics, without all the flash and hyper-special-super stuff that the Alpha series ushered in and the vs. games beat to death.

The rest of the rosters are pretty standard. I mean there are certain characters that just HAVE to be there. You need Kyo, Iori, Terry and Mai on the SNK side and you need Ryu, Ken and Chun-Li on the Capcom side. They really didn’t have a choice there. The rest of the characters like Guile, Dhalsim and Ryo are cool picks but nothing out of the ordinary. I would have loved to have seen them make more choices like Shiki and Hugo. It would have been awesome to see characters like Ukyo, Galford, Guy or Rose show up in SvC:Chaos. I’m really happy with the rosters as they are though and I’m dying to see some screen shots of the game. If they Playmore can pull off a fighter that matches the overall quality of Mark of the Wolves they will have a real winner on their hands.  MoTW came out nearly three years ago and proved that the Neo-Geo still had the power to compete with modern systems where 2D fighters were concerned. No game since then for the Neo has looked as good or played as well in my opinion. Playmore has the opportunity here to breathe new life into the hardware. Let’s see if they do it.

-Gabe out

It still looks like a Webby might be in our future. We are the leading write in for a few different categories. Humor, Games and Netart are the ones I think we probably fit into the best. Voting continues into next month so hopefully we can maintain our lead in those categories.

Lot’s of people are asking about the online Penny Arcade store I promised a while ago. It turns out an online store is really fucking hard to build. Our man Kiko of Gameskins fame is on it though and I think we are getting close. I just sent him all the artwork for the shirts and posters and stuff that he needs. It shouldn’t be much longer now.

After mentioning Pocket Fighter it reminded me that Tycho used to kick my ass at that game on a regular basis. This was odd because 2D fighters were always my thing. Then I remembered that he was also really good at Marvel Super Heroes. I realized that both games require you to pick up gems in order to do super moves and stuff. So then I thought that maybe his skills were somehow gem related. However his poor showings at Super Puzzle Fighter sort of ruin that theory. So why was he good at those two fighting games? The world may never know.

-Gabe out

After that Neo Geo rant I started feeling nostalgic so I hit Ebay and checked some auctions. My Neo-Geo collection is pretty much complete as far as I am concerned except for a few titles. I still would like to get my hands on Sengoku 3 and Metal Slug 3 home carts. I would also like a Mark of the Wolves MVS or AES cart. I can’t see myself getting these anytime soon as a couple hundred bucks is just way to much to spend on a videogame. I tried getting a MoTW cart a few years ago from NCSX and they sent me a defective one. I returned it and they sent another defective one. I finally just got my money back. Anyway I was looking at MVS carts and happened to see this auction. See MVS games never came with real boxes. They are for an arcade machine so they just came in cardboard boxes that arcade operators would throw away as soon as they could. Now that people are collecting these games though they wanted a nice way to store them and so a guy came up with Shock Boxes. All kinds of people make inserts for these boxes, there are hundreds and hundreds of inserts and a couple years ago I even made a couple for my own collection and posted them on a few Neo fan sites. Well if you look at the Shock Box that this MoTW MVS cart comes with the guy is using the insert I designed.

Heh…

That’s pretty much the whole story. I apologize if you read this far.

-Gabe out

We’re thinking about a new running gag where we just get sued all the time and have to take the strip down.

Truth be told, this one is probably safe to post in ways the Strawberry Shortcake strip was not - unless Nazis sue us too, in which case, I will declare the world and my life subjects which are beyond parody.  Though it goes counter to what myself and many people believe about the protected nature of speech in America, were we to actually go to court over the previous comic, there is no guarantee of victory.  It’s not very clear cut, legally speaking.  Win or lose, though, there is a guarantee that it will take all of our time and money.  When it comes down to it, I would rather make comics and write my little newsposts than exhaust those energies grappling with a corporation that is large beyond imaginings.  Hopefully that is something we can agree on.

It is sort of a pain in the ass, though, which this strip revealed as we tried to write it.  So, can we even use the names of companies?  Well, clearly.  At least, I think.  But, what about the logo - is that fair game?  Maybe not.  I don’t actually know.  Also, I don’t want to run each strip by a lawyer to find out if we’re talking about some kind of legal conflict, where Gabe and I have to fight lawyers and also a lion in an crumbling ancient colosseum.  But it gets more problematic. 

Have you heard that old saw where somebody says that “children today recognize less than ten plants, but over a thousand corporate logos”?  Putting aside the fact the logos have the name of the company on them and plants typically don’t, you’re supposed to be just shocked by that plants/logos thing, and I’ve just never been able to muster the indignation over it.  Here’s where it starts to get tricky:  when I want to tell people where something is, I don’t tell them to look for the largest poplar, so it doesn’t matter if they can recognize its tulip-shaped leaves.  I tell them to turn right at the Texaco.  Or the Pizza Pipeline.  Or Jack In The Box.  They actually determine geography.  I actually can’t describe my surroundings without using these brands.       

I can hardly have thoughts without utilizing brands.  So, American McGee’s creative propensities amuse us.  What would happen if he turned his dark gaze on one of those sweet girls’ toys from the eighties, like Rainbow Brite or Sweet Secrets or My Little Pony?  No, I’ve got it:  Strawberry Shortcake.  Counting American McGee, a single train of thought requires no less than five products.  Look at Penny Arcade, for Christ’s sake.  I can’t even express concepts without leveraging some organization’s coveted intellectual property.  In the case of the now infamous strip, it wouldn’t have made sense to use anything but a commonly known product.  So now that these Goddamn characters and concepts and products are completely intrinsic to our language and thought processes, they are, in fact, inextricable, they can effectively police speech.  I’m not even trying to make a value judgement about that.  I’m simply amazed by it.

(CW)TB out.

long ago, man

I know we’re being all dour today and pondering ramifications, so I’ll make this quick:  The new Phantasy Star Online game Sega just announced is a turn-based, cooperative, multiplayer card battle game!

I laughed and laughed when I read it.  I don’t know if they could possibly have made a game that is more attractive to me.

(CW)TB

We are buying a new car today. Buying cars is always very stressful for me. Obviously the money thing is one side of it but it’s also just really confusing. I honestly understand very little about the process. There are always lots of papers to sign and lots of percentages get thrown around. Then you have to say “no” like twelve times when they try and get you to buy the extended warranty and the scotch guard and the life time oil change and the plasma injector and the special coating that keeps harmful gamma rays from boiling your brain inside your skull like a crock-pot full of bubbling chili.

-Gabe out

I have never been able to repress my affection for Howard Phillips Lovecraft, whose verbosity is matched only by his ability to use a lot of words.

Alexander Karlsson received 100 Reader Points - a currency I have just now invented - for connecting me to the work of Adam Byrne, who seems to share my own fascination.  Thrill to this preview of the comic he is doing, and don’t forget to take in the animated trailer. 

(CW)TB

This has got to be the most exciting pre-E3 news I’ve read yet. SNK is back and they are going to be developing games for the current crop of systems. There is even mention of a 3D Metal Slug game in the article. If you would like to meet me at E3 I will be in booth # 3008, drooling all over myself and blubbering like a fan boy.

-Gabe out