Penny Arcade

Questions And Concerns

The gyrations we might go through to make something ridiculous match established canon are well known, even if it’s something like a bedsheet, or in this case, an advertising campaign. There’s a Powerade commercial before X2 that is - I swear to God - over eighty minutes in length. It really is like a movie about Powerade that you have to watch before your own movie may begin. The fifteen minutes before your film are now a non-stop psychic barrage.

I’m so excited about E3 I don’t know what to do with myself. I play Planetside pretty much, wringing every last moment from that Valhalla, until Daddy takes the T-bird away. I’ve got a batch of free stuff that I’ve been playing too, just to take the edge off.

I shudder to think what the young might call Reflexive’s Crimsonland, though I fear that referring to it as the Bizomb is accurate. Classic arcade games just do me right, when every cabinet and every marquee represented the birth of a new genre. Robotron 2084 is a fantastic template for gameplay, as the more recent Smash TV proved - and modern independent games like Mutant Storm and Crimsonland have taken up the mantle. Crimsonland takes it a bit further with a robust supply of great weapons, arcade-style powerups, and even “Perks” a la Fallout to enhance your ability to pulp aliens, zombies, or whatever.

I saw links to a few of their new games over at HomeLAN, and now I visit Garage Games pretty regularly. Using a branded version of the Tribes 2 engine called Torque which you can license for a hundred bucks, the games you produce end can end up at the site for humans to purchase. In any case, liked Marble Blast, liked Orbz, but what I’ve really been waiting for is ThinkTanks. Developed by ex-Dynamix guys at BraveTree, it was exclusive to Linux and Mac gamers until very recently, which filled me with an impotent rage.

In anticipation of Etherlords II, and also because I wanted to play a CCG without paying for one, I’ve also been playing the demo of the first game. When I get back from E3, I think I’ll probably pick it up. I had downloaded an earlier demo a while back, and while I thought it was cool, I didn’t really understand it. Looking back on it, I may have downloaded the German version.

So that’s what I’ve got going on.

I do, however, require an Amen from the Old School on this one. I need to know if any of the true players recall the Archon series, which I played on the Commodore 64 but probably came for the Apple IIe or something. Essentially an action game with a strategic metagame, it combined arcade play with chin rubbing strategic fancery. Even if you don’t, Lucasarts certainly recalls it - check out the screens for the recently revealed Wrath Unleashed. I thought that we were talking about a fighting game or whatever that drew on mythology, which would have been fine, hey, go for it, until Gabriel mentioned this screen in particular. To this date, I know of no game that has been made worse by the addition of a hex or two. Just throw a couple in!

(CW)TB out.

it’s easy to be wrong

Greetings, Programs

Invigorating!

So we do get multiplayer Light Cycles in Tron 2.0 after all? I have to give Monolith their propers on this one. The announcement is somewhat vague on whether they’ll be available for Internet play or just on LAN, but either way it’s more than I expected. The multiplayer aside from the cycles - a Game Grid style gladiatorial arena with Spectation and everything else - I have a feeling that’s going to take over a LAN Party or two, just as Jedi Knight duels did.

(CW)TB

New Hookup

Another installment of The Hookup is on the site, and I have a very high opinion of it. We’re actually going to meet him this year, I guess he’s going to be down there at that place with all the E’s.

(CW)TB

This Is What I Mean

Dear Tycho,

I have an observation about the comic’s theory that Powerade drunk in the Matrix wouldn’t refresh, as it’s virtual.

Remember that the body that is drinking it is virtual, too. It’s a computer generated illusion of the self that’s actually taking the Powerade. Thusly, since it’s virtual powerade and a virtual body, it’s highly possible Powerade is programmed to do to the illusory body what it might do to a real body.

Let’s say someone was run down in the Matrix. Their REAL body in the power plant may not actually be run down, but the Matrix tells them they are. So, they drink this stuff, and the program restores whatever bit of the program Powerade can recharge, allowing the person to continue activities.

Then again, this all returns to the theory that, if the real body wasn’t affected by the wear, why it would benefit from the restoration of energy in the virtual body. It’s unlikely, considering how powerful the Matrix can be in someone’s mind, that a person with more energy might release more heat, but there’s been no evidence in any of the movies to suggest that. So, it looks like I haven’t made a push in either direction (as I tend to).

Well, in any case, I think strategized marketecture is only a bad thing when it is shameless or it doesn’t make us laugh.

Regards,

King Kool

(CW)TB

Penny Arcade Store

-Gabe out

Come See The Softer Side Of SARS

I mean, while we’re posting pictures and everything.

(CW)TB

Our Poor Store

This is why we can’t have nice things.

The shirt-hungry hordes have brought our store server to its knees, and no-one can get in. I was initially going to say that everyone whose last name started with A could go now, but it might work better just to say that we have someone who is actually intelligent running the store this time, and if things get low Brad will actually get more shirts, instead of our old plan where we never would. So if you don’t get it today, it’s not like before where you had one chance and that was it.

I apologize for any spelling errors. I typed this on my phone.

(CW)TB