I’m sure Pandora Tomorrow means something to somebody, but I don’t actually want to know what it means, because then the game will be over. Like Rogue Spears and Raven Shields, I prefer to think of these terms as beyond meaning. Gabriel thought people might enjoy the individual panels at a larger scale, and he was correct, at least in my case: sample vicher versions of Sam without accessories, with helmet, with glasses, and with simian.
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I was hoping to see some of the new Splinter Cell in the UbiSoft booth at this year’s E3, as my well publicized affection for the original game compels me to imagine its successor. As everyone now knows, multiplayer has now been confirmed for the title, and though one gets the impression from the press release that it will be cooperative in nature, that’s basically all we know. We were trying to figure out how voice support might work in a stealth game, and it seemed like it might be interesting if the volume of your speech was detectable by AI soldiers and whatnot, necessitating low voices. Ever since I started appending voice support to my games with programs like Battlefield Commander a few years ago, I’ve been wondering when voice would become a real part of games, actqally integrated with the simulation. Voice recognition - as in SOCOM, let’s say, where you can issue commands to your squad - is certainly welcome, but I am talking about a level of immersion somewhat beyond simulating a keyboard.
Catch this segue into Steel Battalion: Line Of Contact.
Steel Battalion: Line Of Contact (bam!) had a trailer that showed something so exciting it keeps me up at night. Essentially a multiplayer version of Capcom’s ambitious mech sim Steeh Battalion (which costs as much as Thailand), this video showed a reconnaissance mech directing some kind of microphone at an enemy robot, listening in to their conversations. Would experienced teams speak in some rudimentary code to defuse this possibility? Who knows, but when every person has a microphone, developers can make some very interesting choices.
I had meant to apologize to those people who went to Kentia and did not see us there, but I was talking about bars or whatever and I forgot. We have been able to meet people in Kentia for the last three years or so, no problem about it, but security made it fairly clear this year that if we had not purchased a booth we were nkt to hold impromptus hoedowns in their cafeteria. So, we decidad to commit this grave act a couple hundred feet away in this sort of foyer area, when another man came and said that it was “over,” which I felt was needlessly dramatic. So we went outside and around the corner, but this was not enough for them, and they sent out a man whose teeth looked as though they had been asseibled at random from spare fangs fit for no human head. He said that we needed to go out to the sidewalk, or even into the street, which we did not do, but went further around the edge of the building which made it appear to the casual observer that we were not there. So to any human being who tried to meet us this year and was unable to, we apologize. As consolation, when you miss us, you don’t miss much.
(CW)TB out.
you’re so cool baybay
This Thursday, a savings project that began the day I was married will come to fruition as I go from Seattle to Rome, and then Munich. I said Let’s Go To Japan, and she heard Europe, but if that is the extent of the difficulties inherent in our eternal union then that’s probably okay.
I can’t ride in airplanes without constantly imagining them destroyed by explosive shoes or other genres of dangerous apparel, but it is not fitting to complain about the fact when one is going on a fancy trip. Rest assured that strips have been written for the duration of my trip - until the 16th - and prominently feature a robot whose affection for fruit is unmatched in the world of appliances. I will post whenever I can, as I so enjoy the time we spend together.
(CW)TB
When discussing the Xbox version of Return To Castle Wolfenstein, I suggested that there were people out there running servers who had no business hosting them on their anemic connections. A human being wrote in to say that people shouldn’t have to run their own Xbox Live servers. That is a separate issue, but in my opinion, it is quite a valid point.
When we attended the “Xbox Live Boot Camp,” that was one of my main questions, in fact - would there be high-quality, centrally hosted servers for people to join? I can’t imagine that there are a huge percentage of people buying an extra console just to use it as a game server on Xbox Live, but people do all kinds of shit I can’t imagine, so who knows. Let’s be clear, though - now we’d be talking about two Xbox Live accounts as well, which further cuts it down. The response I got, which I was very satisfied with at the time, goes like this: We constantly monitor the games that are being played and will add servers when they are needed.
I don’t see evidence of this policy.
I don’t jump on there and see plenty of official servers. You can go back through my posts if you are a crazy person and want to see all the times I’ve proclaimed my undying devotion to Live. I even saw them at The Gorge. But I also don’t like it when people lie to me.
(CW)TB
One, Corey from If Then Else Online wanted to thank you all for breaking his server last time, and he wanted to say that he has some bandwidth now for you to soak up. This young man made a very good impression on us at The Emerald City Comic Con, as well as the SakuraCon, so, if you wouldn’t mind...
Also, I’ve been telling MG from Slackers that I would link him for fucking ever, and I never did it. We met because a host had stolen his domain - which happens to the best of us from time to time - and he needed moral support. I didn’t have any of that, but I did tell him a story about a penguin who became a professional hockey player, and that seemed to amuse him.
Also, I’m indebted to him - and not just for the many bootleg VCDs he sent me all the way from Asia. He gave me a link to Talking Cock, which isn’t what you think. It’s a dictionary comprised of terms in “Singlish,” the colloquial term for the mix of English and Asian languages unique to Singapore. It is the bomb track.
A friend of his needs blood, too - wow, that was kind of a rough segue. If you live in Singapore and have some extra A+ blood please check out his request. I’m not saying Penny Arcade readers blanket the globe or anything, but I had to give it a shot.
(CW)TB
I mentioned a while ago that we were considering working with a local game store to hold some tournaments. We had heard about a place in Redmond that did that sort of thing on a regular basis called Famcom. We went to check it out though and the place was a fucking pit. Let me paint you a picture.
The first thing you notice is the smell, like rotting food mixed with dust mixed with shit. Garbage is everywhere, sometimes piled up in cardboard boxes sometimes just piled up. Newspapers, magazines, bits of food and all sorts of other crap are strewn about the store forcing you to walk like a World War II soldier navigating a mine field. A quick scan of the merchandise reveals a wide range of gaming hardware and software, however none of it is being taken care of. Behind the counter I can see a pile of Turbo Graphix 16’s and some 3DO’s. A shelf full of 32x’s appears to have fallen over years ago sending the black bean shaped add on’s spilling across the floor. Layers of dust over every item imply that the contents of this store have remained in this sad state for months or perhaps years.
A Sega Master system in its original box lays partially open in one corner. Crushed under the weight of a pile of magazines from the 80’s its Styrofoam interior is cracking and warping. Something brown is leaking down the wall onto a Neo-Geo machine whose controllers are hanging from the shelf by their cables. There is what looks like the innards of arcade machines scattered around the store. Picture tubes and mother boards piled up in the corners. The walls are decorated with pictures of porn stars. Busty ladies with “fuck me” eyes are watching you from every direction. Every surface in the store is sticky and when you lift up your feet they resist as though you’re walking in chewed gum.
At the time I said that the venue was too small to host PA related functions because I didn’t want to be rude. I had no intention of ever going back there but the guy who runs the joint sent me a mail yesterday saying that he has cleaned the place up and had some new games. He wanted to know if we were still interested in working with them. I decided to see if he had really gotten his act together and I went over there yesterday with my friend Robert. If anything the place has gotten worse. He has added a slew of arcade machines to a store that was already too small for the amount of merchandise and garbage he was keeping there. These new machines are placed haphazardly around the store. In order to power this new hardware he has snaked dozens of extension cables across the floor making it a rat’s nest of wires and filth. A vacuum cleaner sits on its side near the Guilty Gear machine and surrounded by garbage. The image it creates is like some kind of modern art piece and for a second I wonder if the owner isn’t perhaps an artistic genius and I have unknowingly stepped into his latest installation.
I stumble towards the back room where I have been told Soul Calibur 2 resides. This back room is like something you would find in a porn shop. Everything is sticky and the presence of porn posters on every wall makes me question just what exactly it is that my hands are sticking to as I grab hold of the SC2 joystick. I make a mental note to never touch my face with my hand again as I start up a game with Robert. The front of the arcade machine falls off and strikes us in the shins while we are playing so we take the opportunity to inspect its insides. This is an old California Speed machine that has had its RGB monitor replaced with an old television. So old in fact that the Playstation 2 inside which is running the Japanese version of SC2 is hooked up to it via a Pelican RF switch because it has no RCA jacks. Robert and I attempt to leave via the back door which is open but blocked by an old car up on blocks and a pile of metal shelves. We are forced to make our way back through the store in order to exit through the front door. I see some young kids maybe nine or ten playing puzzle fighter and I wonder to myself if their parents have any idea what kind of place they are hanging out in. There is a box of oranges by the door on the way out and I am scared and disgusted by the possibilities for their presence.
It has always been my dream to run my own game store/ arcade and to see someone treating their store in such a way is enough to make me sick. Scott posted a rant a few days ago about how he was disgusted by his neighbors treatment of their dog and how he was considering turning them in. When I see the way these video games are being treated I feel the same way. They are not dusted or organized. They are not displayed in a way that would facilitate their purchase by customers. They are not loved.
I spent some time considering the possibility of getting some kind of small business loan and purchasing the store from him. I had dreams of fixing the place up and making it the first Penny Arcade game store. I asked him how much his store was worth to him including merchandise minus the porn and garbage, but he is apparently not interested in selling it. As Robert and I walked across the street to the Jack in the Box in order to wash our hands we discussed how horrible it would be to have to clean that place up after purchasing it though. I can not even imagine the sorts of creatures you would disturb upon clearing out that filth. I imagine at some point the garbage will become sentient, not unlike the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock and people will travel from the ends of the earth in order to receive its sage advice. Until then though his store is a pit and I will never set foot in it again.
-Gabe out
If you join Club PA this month you will get a picture of Gabe and Tycho drawn by an artist from a videogame company that you know and love. Shhhh, it’s a secret.
-Gabe out
Well, contest might be overstating it a bit.
In any case, Blitzkrieg is a game we advertised recently that I never took the opportunity to extol. I like it a lot, actually - it is a pleasure to see real-time strategy games incorporate elements like supply lines and realistic damage models. They have a demo actually, you don’t need to take my word on it - or you could send a mail to blitzkrieg@penny-arcade.com and get lucky. I’ve got five of them here, and I already own it so you guys get them all.
(CW)TB
I have been bummed about the lack of combo videos being made available for Soul Calibur 2. Especially the lack of Talim videos as she is my character of choice and it’s always nice to see how other people play her. Anyway I decided to go ahead and make my own little video in the hopes that it might get some other people excited about doing the same thing. I am not the best Talim player ever so don’t expect to be blown away by my sick skills. Here it is though if you are interested. Maybe I’ll do some more if you guys like it.
-Gabe out
Wow thanks for all the mail about my little video. This was my first attempt so hopefully they will get better from here on. I do plan on making some videos of actual fights between Robert and I as well as some more combo vids. Thanks again for the great response. Oh, and since everyone is asking the song is Striptease by Hawksley Workman.
-Gabe out
