My ticker is cool. The doctor says I am healthy, which is nice to hear. She isn’t sure what caused my chest pains but says it probably isn’t my heart. Things have been going so well with Penny Arcade recently that I just assumed something bad had to happen to me soon. I had always figured it would be some rare disease that would infect my boy parts and eventually kill me. When I started having chest pains I thought for a moment that I had been focused so much on an attack from my nether regions that I totally overlooked the possibility of my heart exploding.