I would like to set the record straight. First of all my goatee, at least in real life is not patchy or “theoretical”. It’s quite the opposite in fact. I would call it lush, full and with a healthy sheen.
Second, Tycho cannot grow hair anyplace on his head. Bald since the age of thirteen, the man has no place ridiculing the beautifully kept goatee I myself have managed to produce.
Occasionally I think it’s important to stress the differences between comic Gabe and myself. I’d say Cartoon Gabe paints a pretty fair picture of what I’m actually like most of the time, minus the latent homosexual tendencies and the stunted beard growth.
So to recap, my goatee is awesome and Tycho is bald from head to toe like a baby mole.