Despite anything we might have said in the strip, Unreal Tournament 2004 is pretty good even if you decide to settle for human company. I don't retreat from any of the things I said regarding the balkanized community their many gametypes and options automatically creates. However, I firmly believe that the path en route to that inevitable implosion will be fantastic!

If you don't already have the demo, there's just no reason not to download it from the official site - they have Linux, Mac and PC versions, so no matter where you work you can play it right there on the webserver. I'm of the opinion that the network code feels a little cleaner, a little tighter - the "best case" scenario feels more solid to me that UT2k3, though I will be the first to admit that "feel" is not the most scientific term. I've read bad reports about the lag and whatnot, but I always leave "Sodomite's BITCH KILLER" server at the first sign of trouble, I don't wait around to see my worst fears about network performance validated. I've seen fire and I've seen rain, at least as it relates to server quality. I don't know which one of those is the good one.

It will hit with over a hundred maps built in, as it includes the content from the previous version. It will warm my heart to see actual humans and not just psychotic robot butchers populating my favorite maps again. Judging by the server lists I've seen, the new Onslaught gametype - a vehicle oriented capture point mode - has really seized the imagination, and we can expect nine maps right out the gate. Assault - a mission oriented mode that always had a strong following - hits with six maps, which seems anemic to me. They're easily the most elaborate sort of map to produce, as they include a whole point by point mission flyby and tend to have elaborate "fiction" that describes them, so six probably isn't terrible out the gate. About other companies, maybe you couldn't say it - but Epic and Digital Extremes keep the content coming, loads of it, well after release - it is almost inconceivable to me that we wouldn't see those six maps expanded through their now legendary Bonus Packs. No other game has this kind of history, where the things any other company would shake you down for they give away free.

And also, I have to say - we haven't seen the fanciest of the updated content with this demo. There's an Assault map, for example, where one team flies spaceships to breach a base in the initial phase. There's a ton of new features, too - they're just cool ideas. Text to speech, for example. And, at any moment, you can hit a button and receive a helpful trail that will lead you to either base. Voice support. Not just voice support for online games, but also voice recognition for ordering around your bots - "kill them, my robots," etc. For me, voice support isn't the biggest deal for a PC game because I'm typically playing with other people using Teamspeak. More often than not, unfettered access to a voice channel leads to people saying shit like "Macaroni," and then giggling. But I know the kids like it.

When's it ship, though - sixteenth of March? I'll probably have to get that.

(CW)TB out.

it's almost entirely window dressing

I love UT2K4 but chances are you will never see me online. I play pretty much every day but I play with myself…erm that is to say by myself. I play with bots is what I’m trying to say. There is just no good reason to play with humans. I tried it last night with Tycho and it was alright but I think we spent more time trying to find a server with a decent ping than we did playing. Then during the game I had to put up with people telling me I "suck penis good". No thanks. When it comes to humans versus robots I’ll take robots every damn day.

I have been playing quite a bit of Champions of Norrath lately. I play it with Kara and I gotta say it sure makes me like FF:CC more. Every time one of us has to do some inventory management shit, the other person is stuck watching them fuck around. The more I play Champions the more I respect Square for having the balls to make the GBA a requirement for FF:CC multiplayer. Champions is a decent game. My only real complaint about it is how boring the characters are. Just look at a dark elf in Champions and then look at a night elf in Warcraft 3. Both companies are drawing from pretty generic fantasy fiction but the artists at Blizzard take shit like elves and dwarves and they really put their fucking stamp on it. The character designs in Champions look like they could have been pulled out of the sketchbook of any high school D&D fan. I don’t think it’s the artists fault. My guess is they aren’t given the same freedom to experiment that the artists at Blizzard have. It's just a bummer since the rest of the game looks so good.

I just wanted to remind everyone in the Seattle area about the Emerald City Comic Con. It’s true that Tycho and I won’t actually be there since we will be in New Jersey but we will have some very good friends of ours running a booth here in Seattle for us. If you are interested in picking up some PA merchandise, like posters or shirts, be sure and swing by the Emerald City comic con and say hi to our friends. Of course as soon as we decide to do an east coast con, Stan Sakai decides to come to Seattle. It’s nice to know that while I’m on the other side of the fucking country the greatest artist working in comic books today will be kicking around my home town.

-Gabe out