There is apparently a new bot for Counter-Strike: Source coming out today, and we have created a preview which details its unique technology. As for the rest of the comic, I wish that it weren't but it's essentially true. My D&D playin' ways were responsible for everything from failed souffles to the dissolution of my family to problems of the ear, nose, and throat.

In other news, we hereby revoke 2004 Game of the Year status for Blizzard's "World of Warcraft," effective immediately.

If you are familiar at all with the newspost, you know that it has been a spigot of almost unmitigated goodwill towards the title. We've been playing it for months in another form, and even chose to write thirteen comics for the guide. Understand that we don't need to take or even entertain projects if they are not utterly delicious, your readership of the site itself guarantees that. We took it because we loved the game and had faith that any hitches in the experience would be ground down before release. This has not been borne out.

I would not disagree with you if you said that the game was good - indeed, as delivered, I still maintain that in the Massive genre it provides the greatest reward for the least nuisance. It also succeeds in many ways corollary to that, but I've said plenty of things along those lines, and the puff piece phase is over - particularly with the European launch en route. Now is actually a good time to appraise their technology. It is, in a word, wanting.

I'm putting aside issues like class balance or Gamemaster abuse, because honestly those things are only a problem when the fucking server is up. They will no doubt be very interesting topics eventually, but it's actually four and five times a week at this point that I can't even log in to the game. It's not like I'm sitting here trying to connect at odd hours so I can catch them in something, either - this is in prime time, or on a weekend. The mail system works when it is good and ready. The servers themselves appear to have other things on their mind.

Every week, there is some new calamity that necessitates some huge response on their part, servers are coming down, but if you think that the servers coming back up again will represent an improvement in the basic functionality of the game you're mistaken. They took them down most of the day Thursday (and again for "emergency service" on Sunday), and when they came back up it should have been something supernatural but it was actually utterly imperceptible. It should have been like when the Genesis device hit and a lifeless rock became a fucking paradise. That didn't happen. So, if I say, as I'm about to, that their emergency service amounts to parlor tricks, what evidence can they give to the contrary? Because near as I can tell they've been doing "emergency service" since release, only they used to credit people's accounts for it.

If this happened in Galaxies, or Dark Age, or AO, of course it'd be everybody everywhere piling on. But it's Blizzard, and since they made a few good games years ago now they can do whatever the fuck they want to. Great policy, and it totally serves consumers. Good job. Where's Lum The Mad when you need him.

When a young person comes into a noticeable sum of money, it is often the case that strictures are placed on its expenditure. The thinking is that such a person will plow their inheritance in things that are critical to them at the time but do not represent a wise long-term investment, such as Sweet Tarts. A trust fund protects this amount and purifies its purpose. So it can be said for the coveted Game of the Year award - it was given too early, and they have squandered it. It is now withheld. It will be released only when they prove themselves worthy stewards of it.

(CW)TB out.

there's hints of a prince in the end

I just wanted to say that I agree with Tycho on this one. My opinion is that WOW is the best MMO ever made. The problem is that I don't get to play it nearly as much as I'd like. I think it's important to note that the only reason we're so upset here is because we want so desperately to play Blizzard's awesome game. It's the fact that these server outages and crazy bugs are keeping us from their masterpiece that makes us so frustrated. Even when I am able to log in it's often the case that the terrible lag makes their game equally unplayable.

I do not share the opinion of so many WOW forum goers that Blizzard is indifferent to our complaints. I honestly believe they want to fix their broken game and I think they are trying hard to do so. I just wish they'd give some real information about what's going on. I'm sick of reading the worthless puff pieces and interviews with questions like "How awesome is your game?" I don't want to read anymore about how Battle Grounds is going to revolutionize my ass. I want them to address the crippling technical issues with the game I am paying monthly for in an honest way, and tell me what they're doing to fix them.

-Gabe out

I always feel strange when I see the Evil Avatar has picked up something we said and is posting it as "news". I don't think of the stuff we post here as newsworthy.

Anyway the posting of it over at Evil Avatar started a pretty good thread. There are a lot of good posts in there on both sides of the debate. Obviously there are people on less populated servers who simply aren't experiencing the same problems we are. I'd say these issues are probably confined to the top half dozen or so servers. I suppose it's true that I could leave and move to a new server but I simply don't have the energy to start over from scratch. If I could jump ship and take my level 30 Rogue with me I might consider it. But even then I'd be abandoning the 150 some odd guys in my guild.

-Gabe out