I doubt very seriously that such frank discussion will become de rigeur. But there are pressures upon me at the moment, weights, and in a way you are reading my diary. Always have been.

People, we are well and truly fucked.

Blackhearted, mercenary retail wisdom had incubated another perfect storm, and there is naught to be done but describe the situation in high-flown language.

F.E.A.R. has the best firefights of any game in years. These battles often take place in samey locales, but by the time you have sprayed each of them with your automatic weapons they do take on a unique charm. Getting almost uniformly superb reviews. Monolith has made a series of excellent games that haven't sold well, I hope this one does alright for those cats.

Shadow Of The Colossus is made by the team that did Ico, which should end the discussion right there. It's a phrase that should see you in your car and on your way. Their E3 showing wasn't anything I could bring myself to write about, as it didn't quite work yet - a good idea, partially executed on incomplete technology. It sounds like they took it the rest of the way.

Stubbs The Zombie is a game where you can bite through a man's skull and devour his brain, robbing him of volition and dominating his rapidly cooling body. You may create a wall of shambling men and women who know only your will. Plus, it has co-op.

Those aren't games that make me curious: they're each games that I actively fantasize about. Of course, as a person who enjoys games, it may be that you are also desirous of Age of Empires III and Quake 4, which makes it even worse for you. After the reheated gameplay I saw at E3, I'm quite satisfied never playing Quake 4. But it's cool, you do whatever.

Next week, and this is only two of the available options, Metroid Prime Pinball and Call of Cthulhu will demand a place at the table. They had Prime Pinball up at one of the EBs here, in the Kiosk, and if you are still wary that it is a tawdry, incongruous cash grab I suggest that the next time you're in a store - which is pretty soon, from the looks of it - just play it for five or ten minutes. I submit to you that this game is for pimps only - please show your card. Also, Dark Corners Of The Earth, I mean... It's hard to believe it's actually going to hit. People nodded gravely when Daikatana took four years to produce, but Dark Corners is coming up on almost six. I've taken time for it at each E3, like a cherished but distant nephew. They've taken great pains to modernize at each interval, but that is a long time for any vision to remain coherent.

(CW)TB out.

wielding his instruments

Perhaps you read the letter from the National Institute on Media and the Family in which they distance themselves from Jack Thompson. Well Jack has responded to that letter with two letters of his own. He makes some vague legal threats which I have come to discover are sort of his bread and butter. You also get the impression after reading his letters that he believes he was cut loose simply because he is too “hardkore”.

I think we can all agree that young kids should not play violent videogames. I think we can also agree that they should not watch violent movies or read pornographic magazines. That’s a job for parents not Jack Thompson.

You’re all asking me for Jack’s Email and or phone number and I respect that. The problem is that I can’t give that info out. The fact is that Jack had time to call me after I sent him a sarcastic email. I have no doubt in my mind that he would try and pull some legal bullshit if I post his phone number.

Did I ever mention how much I like VG cats?

-Gabe out

It was only a matter of time until a mod team took Jack Thompson's disgusting revenge fantasy and made it flesh - and, just as I suggested, it was deemed insufficient.

Thompson now claims that his repellent suggestion was "satire," and we must conclude that his financial offer was also satire, some new breed of satire apparently that I'm sure is just hilarious to people in need.

You know what, Jack? We're going to be the men you're not. You said that your insulting, illusory ten thousand dollars would go to the charity of Paul Eibeler's choice. We've got a good guess that he'd direct your nonexistant largesse toward The Entertainment Software Association Foundation, a body that has raised over six point seven million dollars over the last eight years. We've just made the donation you never would, and never meant to. Ten thousand dollars' worth. And we made it in your name.

(CW)TB

I thought you might like to see the mail I got from Jack this afternoon:

This story is completely false and defamatory. Take it down or else.

And my reply to him:

****This is an automated response****

Thank you for contacting Penny Arcade. I’m sorry but I am simply not able to respond to all my fan mail. I want you to know that I’m glad you enjoy the comic strip and I appreciate you taking the time to mail me.

-Gabe out

You might have read somewhere that Jack is contacting our police department and trying to get us arrested, which is quite true. Here is the document he faxed them.

The "campaign of harassment" he is describing is the natural result of a public figure making statements that people disagree with, and letting him know their thoughts on the matter via his publically available contact information.

It is critical to establish that this letter isn't anything to worry about. We've been sent worse by better.

(CW)TB

Jack puts a nice spin on his case in that letter to the police chief. Here’s a picture of the real reason he’s pissed off at us.

Obviously he didn’t mention anything to the police department about his “Modest proposal” in which he asks that a game be developed in which players urinate on peoples brains and murder kids who work at game stores. He never mentions that he offered ten thousand dollars to charity and then said it was just “satire.” He doesn’t tell the police chief that Jerry and I just donated the ten thousand for him. I wonder why he left that part out?

Our man Robert is cashing in some frequent flyer miles and heading down to San Francisco today. He’ll be attending the ESA’s charity dinner this evening and will be presenting them with our check. Hopefully he’ll take some pictures for us. I guess Jay Leno is going to be there!

-Gabe out

I just wanted to make a quick note that the page may be up and down today. The server is getting slammed pretty hard. I just wanted to make sure you knew that if the page was down it’s not because of Jack. Well not directly anyway.

Some people have suggested that it might be time to start ignoring the guy and honestly that’s what we had decided to do. However, that was before he tried to have us arrested. Jack is not scary, if you speak to him for even a couple minutes you realize that. What’s scary is that people in the mainstream media listen to him. I don’t think we can just ignore him anymore.

-Gabe out

Jack was on CNN tonight to talk about Midway’s new football game. Like I said in my news post above , this is why Jack is scary. Because he has no fucking clue what he’s talking about yet they put him on CNN to talk as though he was an expert. This is a quote from him:

"The NFL wouldn't allow it's name to be used, so that tells you something."

He doesn’t understand that EA purchased the rights to NFL games and that Midway’s new game is a direct response to that. Like I said before the time for ignoring this coot is over. He can’t be allowed to pull this kind of shit anymore.

-Gabe out