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Tycho

My cohort’s education is always foremost in my mind, but in the past I’ve typically resorted to misdirections that (once discovered) set the project back substantially.  This time - and I recognize that this is strange - I am actually taking his predilections into account.  Before, I would have flopped a book like The Fifth Head of Cerberus onto his Intuos and said “eat this, dog.”  I’m taking a different tack now, a breadcrumb trail, so that his mind is starving at the end of each book, and into that ravenous mind I will continuously heap works of burning fire and terrible consequence.

Oh, and this is why the Patterson thing in panel two.  Well, it’s one of the whys, which are quite possibly infinite.  The description for Patterson’s Maximum Ride, Book One:  The Angel Experiment suggests that “Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, the Gasman, and Angel are pretty normal kids - except that they’re 98 percent human, 2 percent bird.”  Gabriel read this aloud from the site, and I must have hit my head on the corner of my desk when I was gripped by a black sleep, because when I woke up there was blood.

One of the unexpected delights of a generally gaming-sparse CES was discovering (during a listless trawl of Gametrailers, expectation threshold: 0.0) fully seven videos that revealed more of Lego Universe than I believe has ever been shown.  I’m hedging a little, because maybe people on their newsletter or some shit know all about it, but what I saw in that presentation is something I want access to pretty much immediately.  So many Goddamned questions.  I just want to run the executable, set my son on my knee, and spend an entire weekend answering every one.

This has got to be some of the most ridiculous crap in recent memory:  King’s Bounty, and the Armored Princess standalone expansion, for eleven dollars and twenty-five cents.

That isn’t some kind of referral link or something, it’s not a part of some campaign.  It’s just a couple of ridiculously smart games for a completely stupid price, the first of which appeared like a heavenly host when my faith in the personal computer as a context for amusement was situated at a point far, far south of the valid graphable area.  If you find yourself in a similar predicament, or simply wonder why “they” don’t make “them” like they used to, you can spend less than twelve dollars and fix that.  Maybe forever.  And if you’re still unconvinced, there is a bulletpoint in the sell text which reads:

> Possibility to turn your horse into a Pegasus which can fly

SOLD (if I hadn’t bought it already)

(CW)TB out.

the spring of the grandfather clock unwinding

Gabe

I mentioned Monday that we are looking to hire a designer here at PA but I neglected to mention that you only have until Sunday the 17th to get your resume in. You can find all the details about the job right here. We are looking for someone with crazy design skills who doesn’t mind working in a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

-Gabe out

Gabe

I’m pleased to announce that the PAX 2009 DVD set is now available and more importantly, it’s fucking awesome. It is so awesome in fact that this will likely be the last PAX DVD we make. This 6 disk set encompasses the PAX experience so completely and so well that there is simply no reason to make any more. You should hit the sotre link for a more complete breakdown of what’s on these disks, but here is a quick look:

-      $39.99

-      6 discs

-      Done by the same crew (2 player productions) that is doing Penny Arcade: The Series

-      10 hours of content

-      Includes the two pilot episodes of Penny Arcade: The Series with commentary track from Jerry and I.

If you still aren’t sold, check out the trailer.

-Gabe out

Tycho

(I wanted to get this in front of you again, in case you were a recent convert to the game.  We’ve had a great response so far, but I want to make sure that all of Kiko’s awesome shirts find a good home.) 

I used to love looking in game magazines for those photos people used to send in, pictures of the screen itself or the player in front of the screen, showing off a newly minted high score in the way our primitive forebears might have displayed some horned carcass.  Of course, such images may be altered now: it is a grotesque fact of the modern world that we literally cannot believe our eyes.  We can retain the elegance and beauty of the old ritual, though, by verifying the truth of it via Achievements and Trophies.

The contest is thus: upon defeating Bayonetta in Hard Mode, snap a picture of the screen with or without yourself in the classic Myspace mode.  Send this picture to bayonettacontest@gmail.com, along with your Gamertag or PSN ID.  We aren’t going to get up to anything fruity with it:  we’ll be using this to check if you’ve earned “Umbra Elder,” at which point we will send you something awesome.

The first five hundred people to do so will get a shirt that Kiko designed exclusively for this purpose - here are some shots of the front and back.  It is rad, and pulls from design elements on her iconic pistols.  Size Large.  If that is too small for you, we’ve tested it, and it fits perfectly on lynxes or other mountain cats.  You know.  If you have one of those.

Distilled, the contest is as follows:

- Open Only To Those In The Continental US
- Defeat Bayonetta On Hard, Earning The “Umbra Elder” Achievement/Trophy
- Entries Must be Sent To bayonettacontest@gmail.com
- Entry Must Include Your Gamertag/PSN ID, Photo Of Final Credits, And A Current Address
- First Five Hundred Valid Entries Will Win A Rad Shirt
- The Shirt Is Size Large

(CW)TB