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Tycho

Gamestop is prepared to honor your prehistoric Duke Nukem receipts, printed (as was common at that time) upon strips of chewed papyrus.  Assuming these documents have not disintegrated entirely or been shredded along with other incriminating evidence, there may still be substantial dangers involved in their recovery.

Whenever a news item arose suggesting that someone had traded in their Playstation 3 for an Xbox, it was often met with incredulity.  Certainly, it seems like an overreaction.  You and I probably don’t know many people for whom this response is likely, but let’s not make the classic error, where we assume that every person, everywhere is anything at all like ourselves.

There are those for whom an Xbox is merely a medium through which they experience Halo; it is, in every respect, a Halo Machine, the way a Toaster is a Hot Bread Machine.  If you owned a toaster, and this device suddenly refused to make bread hot, you would throw it in the fucking garbage.  You don’t want Schrodinger’s Toaster.  You would get a machine that you could put bread in and know it was getting hot.  And Halo is small potatoes compared to Call of Duty.

So when Activision suggests that they will be offering a monthly subscription service, and this subscription service is largely made up of social features that don’t seem entirely worth the “price of admission,” even though we don’t have any idea what the “price of admission” is or even what the full offering represents.  It’s not merely a Bungie.net that you have to pay for, as has been suggested; for one thing, there are many people for whom the Live fees themselves are a nominal Halo fee.  The main reason, though, is this, tucked away somewhere in the middle of every article on the topic:

...Elite subscribers receive all forthcoming downloadable content and add-ons to Call of Duty games included with their subscription. Non-subscribers can still purchase them a la carte.

That’s the “why.”  By themselves, the social features (some of which are available even to the “silver” equivalent of Elite) don’t constitute the core offering:  they’re “value adds” for a content subscription that digs in deep hooks over the course of a year, and delivers the player directly into the maw of the next product.

I’m more curious about what it means for the rest of the model: does the “timed exclusive” on map packs survive this kind of transition?  Or does being a member of Elite supercede your platform affiliation, placing the emphasis on Call of Duty itself as the primary tribal designation?  Those packs are fifteen bucks a piece, now; is there a monthly price that makes the math an easy call?  At three packs annually, it starts to become clear, but where it truly gels is when Elite members get packs a week early.  That’s when you see the mark of Cain upon its cruel brow, and you witness the power its charred yoke wields over men.

It is my duty to inform you that the seventh Penny Arcade compilation, entitled “Be Good, Little Puppy,” is now available for pre-order at Amazon (and probably lots of other places).  It covers the entirety of 2006, which means that these books are rapidly approaching our current timeline; in only a few short years, you will be able to purchase a compilation of strips we have not yet written.  So will we, actually.  It’s going to save us ever so much time.

(CW)TB out.

girls that can glow in the dark

Tycho

We’ve got a new backend on the way, and our current backend is jealous.  It inserts backslashes in places that backslashes aren’t required.

(CW)TB

Gabe

Tycho and I have been playing through L.A. Noire here at the office. Initially we were both blown away by the technology and the story. After wrapping up the homicide desk and moving up to Vice I was getting a bit bored. I began to look at the game much like a real detective might look at a desk full of open cases and imagine the hours he will need to spend interviewing lying assholes. I have to say this Rockstar game kept me playing much longer than any other but eventually I got tired and gave up, just like I did with all their previous titles. It feels like I am given an incredible open world and then asked to do the same thing over and over again. Oh well, I still consider it a great game and I feel like it was worth my time and money.

The only reason I mention that is I think it might have something to do with why I like Hunted: Demon’s Forge so much. I think it’s functioning as a sort of palette cleanser. It’s a light game that goes down easy and doesn’t leave any after taste. The combat is fun, I like the way they handle loot, the magic system is well designed, and it’s occasionally very funny. Visually Hunted looks good pretty much all the time and actually looks great every once in a while. It’s got some clever puzzles and a ton of hidden areas to find and explore.

I’m playing it by myself so I can’t talk much about the co-op side of it. Tycho and I gave split screen a try here in the office and found the game too busy to really play in such a small window. I will say that even with the A.I. partner the ways the game lets you work together in combat are really fun. Having the warrior send all the enemies around him up into the air with a spell and then picking them off with the archer is a real treat. I imagine this stuff is even cooler when it’s your friend helping you out rater than a computer.

I’m not a game reviewer so I’m not going to try and pin some kind of score on it. I’ll say that after playing the game for a couple of days now I like it and I want to keep playing it.

-Gabe out

Gabe

We have a new T-shirt available in the store. The new design has Gabe making what I like to call his “hipster-douchebag” face. In the comic he was talking about free-range pokemon but we’ve given you some blank spaces to flaunt your own indie cred.

I got a mail last week from Paul of Paul and Storm and he directed my attention towards a recent tweet of his.

They decided to fill in the blanks themselves implying that we stole the shirt idea from them. They even went so far as to suggest that we “suck it.” In his email he goes on to say:

“Just playin’ with you guys…”

I certainly appreciate him starting some shit and I am more than happy to “play” along. However I’d like to point out that I’ve been starting shit on the Internet since before they made their first Weird Al cover band.

So your twitter was cute but here is how a pro does it:

First of all I want to thank Paul for sending me an email with a link to his twitter (I can never remember, is he the one that doesn’t talk?) . I think that sort of defeats the purpose of twitter but to be fair, I would not have seen it otherwise. If you insult someone on your twitter and they don’t read it does it make a noise?

Obviously we didn’t steal the idea from Paul and Storm but that doesn’t really matter. They are upset and I think an apology is owed. So here it is: Dear Jonathan Coulton, I am very sorry for angering your pet musicians.

-Gabe out

Okay I can’t actually leave it like that. I love these guys too much. In fact one of my favorite moments from PAX East involved Paul and Storm. PAX is obviously a crazy time for me and I’m always really stressed out. I had ducked into the main theater during the Paul and Storm sound check to sit down and chill out for a few minutes. After a song Storm walked over and sat down next to me, he looked over and with a completely straight face asked “So, where do you get your ideas from?”

I stared at him for a few seconds waiting for him to break and when he didn’t my mind started to spin. Was he seriously asking me this? Then he cracked and both of us lost it. That little moment was so funny that I walked out of the theatre smiling. So as much as I love giving people shit I just can’t do it to these guys with a straight face.

-Gabe out (for real)