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Tycho

It had fully been my intention to hold out on Modern Warfare 3, but if Robert drops a copy on my desk in an effort to catalyze the ancient ritual I’m not going to tell him no.  We have enough people that we could very easily play nothing but Private games forever.  And that’s more or less what we do.

These are some tremendously, almost unnaturally refined shootin’s, they are the HFCS of shootin’s, and even in the absence of the game’s horrifically optimized progression mechanisms they confer an entertainment payload.  But those systems still exert a call, and occasionally we descend into the mire.  Very occasionally, but not occasionally enough, which would be never.

Ever is probably too often.  There are a couple reasons; one of them is almost an anomaly in the medium.  Quake, Quake II, and Quake III have almost nothing to do with one another: these games are sequels only in name.  By comparison, Call of Duty games since Modern Warfare share a kind of vital blood from product to product.  The skills are much more transferable from game to game, and believe it: they’re getting transferred.  I was more or less competitive a couple years ago, but look at the fucking stats.  People never stopped playing “this game.”  And they haven’t, for years.

Losing in games is something I expect, though.  Losing in general.  I’m a loser.  But I made the mistake of remaining in game chat, instead of retreating to an Xbox Live Party.

I use parties even when I’m playing by myself - I use them as a Mute All feature for the entire service.  If it also allows me to invite people in and play, well, that’s a nice side benefit.  But it acts as a kind of carapace that protects me from the fucking corrosive bullshit in that environment.  I offend people more or less for a living; I’ve constructed a comically elaborate ethos that makes it okay.  I’m difficult to offend as a corollary to that.  But that’s it - that’s really it.  I haven’t been in general chat since parties were invented, and I’ll never go back.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I wouldn’t even know how to contextualize it.  Obviously, it was racist and aggressive and bizarre.  But it was also…  filthy, and I don’t mean that as a mere euphemism for dirty by way of naughty.  I mean that it was septic.  I mean that something in my unbidden animal mind told me to avoid it.

Gabe wanted to communicate the ultimate power we have over these Goddamned beasts in the most elaborate way possible, and I was happy to oblige him.

(CW)TB out.

it’s a lie

Gabe

I never got into any of the previous Elder Scrolls games. I could never get past the graphics which as Tycho likes to say “has kept me from enjoying a great many things.” I just always thought the characters looked ridiculous and the world felt so bland. I was able to get a copy of Skyrim for the Xbox a bit early though and so I decided to give this one a shot.

The world really is beautiful this time and that makes me want to explore it. The people still look stupid most of the time and the voice acting is pretty spotty. Still I was having fun running around and discovering old ruins. I found a cave full of vampires and killed them all only to discover I had contracted vampirism. Getting rid of that kept me busy for a while. I really like the way the game lets you create a character simply by playing the way you want to play. It’s incredibly smart and so seamless. I only wish actually playing the game was more fun.

There’s just nothing to the combat. Killing a cave full of vampires is cool because at the end I got a rad sword but actually fighting them was pretty boring. Fighting shit in Skyrim isn’t about how well you can manipulate your controller, it’s about numbers. The level of your shit vs. the level of whatever you’re pointing your hands at. For me this just didn’t hold my interest.

The other big problem I had is probably because I was playing it on the Xbox. So much of the game is about exploring and I enjoyed doing that out in the wilderness but in towns it drives me crazy. The towns are full of buildings to investigate but the load time when you want to go inside is so bad that I just avoid it all together. So unless it’s a shop or an inn I just don’t go inside which means I’m missing tons of content. Tycho says the load times don’t exist on the PC so that’s not really an issue for him.

In the end it comes down to the same problem I have with all these sorts of open world games. I find them sort of paralyzing. When I meet a group of people in Skyrim and they want me to join their cult or whatever I just freeze up. If I do join it, will I miss out on some cool thing later? If I don’t join it, are they going to have some rad adventure without me? No matter what I choose I feel like I missed out on something awesome. I’m not picking a direction to go, I’m deciding not to go a hundred other directions. Obviously I’m a crazy person but that’s just how these games make me feel. I need a much more directed game experience to have a good time.

Also a Yarl gave me my own woman and I didn’t know what to do with her so I left her sitting alone in his keep. She will wait there for me forever but I’ll never come back. I felt really bad about that.

-Gabe out

Gabe

Like Tycho I have also jumped into a few MW3 games without having muted everyone. I honestly can’t believe the shit they say to me and the names they call me. I would make a Fat, Ugly, or Slutty site for guys but I actually don’t feel comfortable repeating the things that have been said to me. If they know you’re a girl that gives these monsters an obvious avenue of attack. If you’re just a dude they need to be more, “creative”. The answer is to mute them. Mute them right away and never stop muting them. Mute them forever.

-Gabe out