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Tycho / on Fri, Oct 4 2002 at 9:07 am

What The Fuck Do You Want

That’s what I want to know.  What the fuck do you want?

You don’t open up Car and Driver to read a review of a new car, and the Car and Driver guy’s all like, “Well, it’s just another car.  It’s got wheels, and it drives around.  Not much to see here.”

Unreal Tournament is part of a genre, first-person action, and it executes that genre without fail.  There are but two things you can do and stay true to form. 

  • You can improve graphical fidelity.  Check.

  • You can create or interpret gametypes.  Check.

The review machine doesn’t know quite how to deal with this quandary, that a game can still be highly enjoyable even if it does not innovate.  Quantum Redshift, a game I hold very dear to my heart, is an extremely addictive execution of hovercar racing.  It gets fucked in the ass by every reviewer from hell to breakfast, because they are analyzing it, not playing it.  Go get a new fucking job, you’re spent.  They need to change you people out like lightbulbs. 

What if a game is merely excellent?  As a gamer, as a player of games, I am prepared to settle for excellence.   

We all used to be very happy playing a game that was just “fun.”  If your tastes have changed, if you seek more elaborate diversions, what the hell does that have to do with Unreal Tournament?  I didn’t go to your site to read a review of you.  I could give a fuck about you

(CW)TB


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