Now You Know
Now you know who to blame, at least.
I guess some places aren’t going to sell it, or will be selling only censored versions. Big whoop. There’s no such thing as bad publicity, and remember who we’re talking about here - Acclaim - which pioneered shit like “advertising on tombstones” and quote identity marketing. Once again, they’ve proven what a simple matter it is to subvert the fundamental workings of media: with just enough controversy to break the surface, you trick them into running your campaign. I mean, look - I had no intention of ever drawing attention to them again after their Turok thing, and here I am, on-board, and utterly complicit! They’re criminal fucking masterminds!
Worse than that: I have been seized by a terrible curiosity about the game, though I am well aware of curiosity’s deleterious effect on felines. BMX Triple-X exerts forces upon me like a great star. Friends, we will buy the game. We will subject ourselves absolutely to its rigors. We will collect the coins that reveal the schoolgirls, such is our unwavering commitment to you. We are steadfast, and our resolve is unalloyed. Seriously, or as serious as I get anyway, I refuse to believe that the guys who made Aggressive Inline didn’t hide a fun game in there somewhere.
I’ve never played any Wild Arms games, but I traded some shit in yesterday and picked up the third one that’s out now. Seeing some middling reviews out there, for what it’s worth - but I’ll pop it in in the next couple days and chat it up. I wholly endorse videogames investigating western themes - everyone who is anyone recalls Lucasarts’ Outlaws with affection, and more recently the extraordinary Wild West stage in Timesplitters 2. Red Dead Revolver also deserves mention. I’d never even heard of Wild Arms before 3, but until recently I only played Square RPGs on consoles. I know that seems weird, but I’ll bet it’s not that uncommon.
Also, I keep forgetting to mention it, even though I think about it all the time. Every day, I probably spend a half an hour or so just being excited about Splinter Cell. I don’t know why. I saw it at E3 and was hooked immediately, and I couldn’t have been the only one because it won awards up the ass. When I started reading the features on the moves and these Goddamn developer diaries, it cemented my affections. This is the sort of game that Gabe might get, and I might watch and tell him he’s doing it wrong, but it’s not the sort of thing I’d usually rush out and get, let alone pine for.
Yesterday was my third anniversary, and let me make clear just what a sentimental, sappy bastard I am. We’re at a restaurant, this guy on the piano is playing “Can You Feel The Love Tonight,” and I literally felt the love. I don’t feel the love this morning, of course - oh no. I feel the nausea. They’ve got this liquor now, you might have heard of it.
i’m full of hate