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Gabe / on Wed, Jun 4 2003 at 11:50 pm

I am a little bit crazy.

I talked to Tycho a bit yesterday and he told me it should be me in Europe not him since I can appreciate art in a way that he cannot. Unfortunately I don’t like leaving my house so going to Europe is kind of difficult. I have been getting better recently though and this leads me to believe that soon I may actually be able to go to a foreign country. For example E3 is usually the only trip I take every year and I spend it either at the show or in the hotel room. The other guys head off to all the fancy parties while I sit back at the room and play games. I do this for a few different reasons. Mainly I have an overwhelming fear of getting lost. I am not sure if I got lost as a child or something but somehow my brain got fucked and now I cannot go anyplace that is not the kitchen without first thoroughly mapping out the route I will take and making sure that I have several back up plans should something unexpected happen. I’m not jut talking about trips out of state here either I am talking about going downtown.

So anyway this past year at E3 we were invited to a couple different parties and I decided that I could either spend the rest of my life in a hotel room or actually go out and have fun. The first party we went to was the Nintendo one and getting to it involved a taxi ride and a bit of walking. I swiped a piece of stationary from the hotel that had its address on it and stuffed in my pocket. This was incase Tycho and Robert who I was with were somehow incapacitated and it became my responsibility to get us back.  I also made sure I had change so that should I be thrown from the cab I could make my way to a pay phone and call for help. I lucked out in that the party was actually taking place at a hotel so worse case scenario if everyone I knew there were to die and someone stole my pay phone change I could just get a room there for the night. You think I am kidding but all of this is true.

The next night we were invited to the Sony party. I had no intention of going to this one as I was still recovering from the previous night’s adventure. However when it came time to leave I made myself get up and walk out the door before I could talk myself out of it. Everyone looked surprised as I forced myself to walk towards the elevator. Each step forward that I took required every ounce of strength I could muster. I left in such a hurry that I did not have time to bring the hotels address or make sure I had change in my pocket. This made me uneasy, and as we began our decent into downtown L.A. I felt like I was gonna throw up. Robert was driving this time, he had borrowed his brothers car earlier in the day. His brother, who had apparently gotten a head start on the drinking was seated up front giving directions while I sat in the back with Tycho and Pork. The combination of a drunken navigator and a driver unfamiliar with the area meant that we spent a lot of time just driving around downtown trying to find the party. This was made even more difficult by the fact that the police had blocked off large sections of downtown. When we stopped to ask a cop for directions and what the deal with the road blocks was he informed us that there was a crazy man on the loose with a gun. I asked Robert to repeat what the cop had said just so I could be certain and he said “there is a crazy party on the roof and it’s a lot of fun!” It was a kind attempt by a good friend to keep me from getting worked up but it was too little too late. I began to pray, something I had not really done since grade school.

I prayed and rocked back and forth in my seat as we looked for a place to park near the party. We ended up finding a place next to a sign that said our car may or may not get towed. Things were getting worse. We arrived at the party late to find that all the interesting bands had already left and apparently they had taken all the sober people with them. We mingled for a bit and then lost Pork in a crowed of people undulating to the sounds of George Clinton and his Funky All Stars. Tycho and I sat outside keeping an eye on Robert’s brother Dan who was now sloshed while Robert tried to find Pork. Once we are all back together again we made our way to the exit, grabbed some free backpacks and then started off towards the car. Robert saw a cop giving tickets and took off running in order to reach the car first. I walked with Dan while Tycho and pork talked to some people behind us. As Robert ran off he knocked over a girl and made her spill her water. She hoisted herself up, shouted some obscenities and ran after him. She was in no state to run though and quickly found that standing with her head against a wall waiting for the world to stop spinning was much more her style. As we passed her she recognized us as “That asshole’s friends” and came over to us. She yelled at Dan for a bit and then threw her arm around him and started whispering in his ear and rubbing her fingers though his hair. He just kept smiling and walking until she finally left. I asked him what she had said and he told me he couldn’t remember. Luckily the car was still there and after a quick stop over at Dan’s frat house to put him to bed we caught a cab back to the hotel.

This was more adventure than I had ever experienced in my life. During it of course I was terrified but afterwards I was able to appreciate it. Even as I write it here now I can think back on it and say that I am honestly glad I did it. It was a huge step for me and I think that it means I am getting better. I really think that soon I’ll be able to take a trip like Tycho is on now. Only I think that once I make up my mind to do it the first place I want to go is Japan.

-Gabe out


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