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Tycho / on Sun, Sep 24 2006 at 5:00 pm

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The Secret Weapon

Stop whatever you’re doing right now and watch this video - offered in HD for Windows Media or Quicktime.  That’s Level 5‘s White Knight Story, and I must stress for readers that Level 5 is in no way fucking around.  That’s how you sell us a Goddamn Playstation 3.  We are almost impervious to many of the brands that define Sony’s hardware:  for us, Metal Gear Solid and Gran Turismo emit no will crushing pheromones.  Compare that to the White Knight clip, which is a fairly comprehensive tour of my private desires.   

It’s nice to finally get our eyes on materials that imply Sony is actually, for really reals releasing a console in a couple months.  I understand that it can make my pictures look goods and let me surfs on The Web, didn’t really ask for that, but alright.  But the continued air of mystery regarding their supernatural free online service should really disturb people at this point, not that it will:  if you follow the pastime then you can see that this conflict has already passed through the rational membrane and now occupies the same troubled zone as Religion and Professional Sport.  True dialogue is now impossible.  Faith in one’s "team" is at the rudder.  Heretics are everywhere, tainting each thread. 

It was a rapturous couple of hours last week when the price reductions on the low-end PS3 were announced - would Japan be the epicenter of this new savings wave, and would this wave (after improving the lot of fish and crustaceans) wash up from sea to shining sea, as it were?  Of course not, no.  That would have been brilliant.  Oh, two blessed hours!  You were as some Elysian fifth season.

The entry-level PS3 is sometimes referred to as the ‘tard pack, a snarling and brutal snip of hipster guttermouth.  But it’s not really that ‘tarded:  it has less hard drive space (i.e., the same paltry pile of bits the "high end" 360 relies upon), no wireless (360 ahem!), and no memory card readers (you should see a pattern emerging).  It’s still a PS3.  The Core pack is roughly seven million times worse, because it’s not just a 360 without the last generation’s basic functionality.  It’s also the odd market gesture that means developers can never rely on the Hard Drive as a system component.  I would imagine this dark reality grips the platform’s masters in Redmond with a kind of swamp fever. 

The "gimped" PS3 is practically designed to go head to head with the Xbox 360, it demands comparisons.  Let’s be clear, though:  even when indulging in the price reduction fantasy, the lower cost model isn’t an authentic choice.  In a launch already squeezed for product, trying to find this white stag at retail is (I suppose) one way to go insane.  Or get trampled by a Stepdad desperate for a way to connect with this strange new son.  Or go insane whilst being trampled, etc.

(CW)TB out. 

  rocks and boulders should be fine


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