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Saxophones, oil, and sex: Saints Row IV contains the greatest reference to the best 80s movie ever

Saxophones, oil, and sex: Saints Row IV contains the greatest reference to the best 80s movie ever

Saints Row IV allows you to pick from a variety of taunt and celebration animations, and nearly all of them are jokes of some kind. I won’t ruin all of them, but my favorite is called “I Still Believe,” and features your character mimicking the motion of playing a saxophone, while also thrusting his or her hips forwards in a very provocative way.

To many people that may be a non-sequitur, but I grew up in the 80s, dammit, and I know when someone has snuck in a Lost Boys reference into a video game.

There is a scene in that movie where the characters go to an outdoor concert on the beach, and you see the general teen movies moments of people listening to music, drinking, having a good time, and then you get your first look at him. The saxophone guy. I don’t know if I ever met anyone who remembers The Lost Boys who isn’t aware of exactly what you mean when you say “the saxophone guy.”

He’s giant, he’s covered in muscles, and he’s glistening with oil. He sings a song called “I Still Believe,” and almost all of his power seems to be coming from his crotch. You can watch the scene from the movie yourself, and notice how everyone in the film is just as entranced by Saxophone Guy as you likely are, right at this moment. He is the destroyer of worlds.

Check out the look Jason Patrick and Corey Haim share. They’re like “I can’t believe I’m seeing this. This may be the best moment of our lives. Look at the oil. The chest. The JEWELRY.” They know they’re in the presence of greatness.

I went digging, and the gentleman's name is Tim Cappello, and he used to play saxophone for Tina Turner. His Wikipedia page contains this amazing description:

He is notable for his muscular physique, his sexually provocative movements during his performances and for his tendency to perform shirtless, with his skin oiled and with his hair in a ponytail.

I’m not going to show you images of the “I Still Believe” taunt, because you have to see its magnificence for yourself. But Saints Row IV allows me to kill an alien, steal his super powers, and then dance like the best character from The Lost Boys, and by all that is holy I swear that it is the best thing in the world.

If “I Still Believe” is the best taunt in the game, “The Ninja” may be my second pick.

This may be the most important thing I write all week.