Join Club PA

Tycho / 2 days ago

We've been playing a lot of Unite, enough to have an opinion on it when motherfuckers skirt the social order. We made a joke in the lobby that it was gonna be us and everybody else in Bot Lane, but then it happened for really reals so I had to make note of it in the script doc.

Even if Unite gives you tools to communicate it, and even if you use those tools, the game doesn't really drill in MOBA basics to every player. So I'm not actually mad if there's a party in my lane, and even if I were, it would be of short duration. A full game is ten minutes! I don't need them to go all the way back and be, like, "So, there was, like, this mod?" or something, but I don't think that concepts like Jungling or even lane assignments are quite as universally understood by the majority of those who would be drawn to a Pokemon game. At this point I just want enough people with enough interest over their three stated platforms to support the addition of a functional, responsive menu system. That's sorta where my head is at. Then again, if they have the first thing, they'll probably just think they don't need to do the second. Hm.

(Purely for trivia purposes, that's my Gossifleur and that's his Snorlax. There are Pokemon considered higher tier as support, but they're a little more technical and Eldegoss just works. Plus, I had it already...?)

Dabe emerged in his final form today, with his "streamer tees" you can see below, modeled by some bartenders he knows in Fremont (he tells me). And it checks out - they look like the kind of cool people Dabe would know. You should hit the store and get real close to the designs because there's a bunch of nice touches.  Check out the line, in either of its powerful Unisex or Women's Rolled Cuff variants:

Returning briefly to Pokemon (ahem) UNITE in all caps, our fascination with it is such that it will be taking over Friday afternoon's stream and we are powerless to stop it. Watch two men twist and writhe beneath the freemium scourge at 2pm PDT - only on Twitch.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 4 days ago

I like Pokemon, but if it were to pass me a note in class with an option to indicate whether I like-liked it, I would have to think about it for a while. At the individual game level for new mainline releases, I rigorously follow the stories because… they're legitimately kinda cool? But the specific grind loop in the game is something my brain will only tolerate for around ten hours total, after which it's like asking me to put my hand on a hot stove.

Pokemon UNITE, though, is something I can do.

I should elaborate. When I say I can "do" it, I don't mean that I can win. Absolutely not! What I mean is that the likelihood of me playing a MOBA with Mr. and Mrs. Gribbs for a couple hours is a thousand times higher than getting ten pokemon to level 100. As for gameplay? You already know. Well, except for the main thing you do I guess, which is that as you battle creeps, I mean, uh, Wild Pokemon, you are amassing points in the form of Aeos Energy which we just call Balls. Instead of towers to push, there are scoring hoops where those towers would be - and you deposit those balls into them, ultimately destroying them if you can drop eighty or more in there. So it's even more sporty than regular eSports, because Pikachu dunks. Most of the other stuff kinda maps onto genre expectations, but I really, really like the play. You level up like a Pokemon would, and you can even auto-set what moves you branch into.

The 3v3 mode is on another map so distinct from the first and built around such radically different concepts that it's hard to compare it directly - it's more of a Dominion thing than a Twisted Treeline thing, references that should tell you when I last tried to play any League. Anytime you deposit balls into its hoops - hoops each team shares, in this mode - it makes anything you deposit afterward counts twice.  It's nuts.

The UI is sort of a freemium mess on Switch, and when it hits Mobile I suspect that it'll be more or less the same because creatures of this kind roam free and grow fat there. I think it needs to be a little snappier to navigate, and there's some odd lag sometimes in multi but on balance I'm just really impressed with it. Eldegoss and Crustle are where I'm at now - I can support the team either by cushioning enemy attacks against them with downy fluff, or I can take on the role of the Unkillable Crab God Whose Maw Spans Time And Whose Claw Cuts The Thread.

Today, GOLGOLFA returns - but at 12pm PDT because Naomi has to go to the Eye Man, which is either an optometrist or something else I don't want to think about. Gary Whitta, once a foe, is… well, he's still totally a foe but he will also be there. I haven't played since I played against them last time, so this will be the ultimate test of my abilities. The game? Mario Golf: Super Rush. The site where it will be visible? Only the hottest hole for youth video, Twanch. It's Twitch. Sorry - I mean, Twitch. I have a condition where I can't just deploy brands without an ironic lacquer sometimes.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 6 days ago

Gabe has been getting into Cris Tales, and one of the main reasons for that is that his psychological reward structure has no defense against the onslaught of beautiful art in this game. Because our world is a fallen and decrepit place, we never had a collaboration between Square Enix and Mary Blair so it's nice to see these devs making up for some lost time.

One thing he won't, physically can't do is listen to characters - even lovingly rendered, visionary characters - talk about school or pastries or their dad or whatever. This extends into the books he likes - even when reading a book, historically a rich source of text, what he's looking for is a big idea whose size crowds out a lot of "snappy" dialogue or 4k navel analysis. He likes - for example - a book about a single person on Mars from the perspective of the same Mars person I was just mentioning. I'd say that book is configured something like his desired zenith.

He wants to be shown things and not told things, and he can alter the ratio by pressing the skip button over and over but sometimes he presses it too many times which occasionally leads to despair. For my part, crushing disappointment is sort of the baseline, but the chasm between that blasted plain and joy is one I will happily fill with orcs for the third time.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 1 week ago

Alright, so: let's go down the list of fascinations Gabriel has undertaken during The Plague Years.

1. Simulated Racing Of Cars, which became Real Racing Of Cars
2. Building Gunpla, which became watching something like a hundred hours of Gundam

And now, improbably, startlingly, Digimon.

Look at that thing. Have they changed this device at all?! It looks like something you might extract from a time capsule. We're at the point now where Bandai Namco extracts something like ninety percent of his entertainment dollar. Last I saw, he was suggesting people come battle him "at the mal;."

I'm still out, theoretically, but! If the poll on Gabe's Twittre is anything to go by, he might be checking out Pokemon UNITE, that surprise MOBA thing? Statistically it would be that, but the other way it could go is with Monster Hunter Stories 2, which is also pretty cool. In any event, he'll bewarming up the stream at around 2pm for your edification slash enjoyment.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 2 weeks ago

This space shit is the most thoroughly dunked phenomenon; it comes pre-dunked, in the package. Dunk runs off it, down your arm, until it pools and drips from your elbow.

They've managed to make space boring. And then, in the manner of a Moses returning from Mount Sinai, Bezos has returned to these benighted shores with a moral framework around something called "civility" with some tactically deployed love bombs to inoculate them from criticism. When you start talking about this shit, there's an inbuilt Greek chorus of people to chew on your ankle because you were critical in any way of their demigod - their liege lord has won business and is thus proven supreme. Don't look too close at that success! It's rude.

If you dwell in this continuum, I've already entertained your position. I understand it well: we live among leviathans, we might as well choose one to serve. Nevermind that our leaders' intense allergy to governing created them - they're here, and maybe they can be placated with the right symbols or rituals. I can't argue with its practicality. Try my read: this is a neo-cyberpapacy buying its own indulgences. I'm gonna feel any way I want to feel about it.

(CW)TB out.

Club PA - Powered by Patreon

  • Exclusive Podcasts
    & Streams
  • A Club PA
    Pinny Arcade Pin
  • Store Discounts
    & Exclusive Merch
  • Exclusive Comics
    & Art


Follow Penny Arcade