The Gambler, Part One
Guitar Heroism has in no way abated around here, so Eurogamer’s revelation of genre specific songpacks was felt with almost kinetic force. If a person my be crushed beneath pleasure and anticipation, I am not long for this world.
I’ve mentioned that Gabriel’s taste in music is no different from that of an uncomprehending animal. There is common ground, however, in Kenny Rogers. I understand that the International Cyber Web is in the throes of Norris Mania, his acts of heroism and terrible violence, his healing fluids, but to the best of my knowledge Charles Norris can’t cook a chicken using only his voice.
So we were thinking about the era of international cooperation that would be inaugurated by a Kenny Rogers expansion for Guitar Hero, and before we realized it there were three finished strips resting in the open text window. Here is the first of them. And before you ask, no: I don’t have any idea what corrupted region of my brain receives these signals.
Galactic Civilizations 2 might be a very good game, but it has a feature so insidious that I may never find out: in addition to the various interstellar tiddlywinks, it has full ship construction.
Grand Theft Auto lets you steal any car, and depending on the car you steal there may be objectives associated with it. I have the same problem in that case: I don’t find unregulated potential liberating, I find it paralyzing. In GalCiv 2, I’ve got these base ships that are bristling - bristling, sir - with receptive nodes. I can affix parts to these things for longer than is rational, creating original designs to the exclusion of the game proper. Worse yet, my Adam Complex - the obsessive desire to catalog and name - kicks in with every class of sleek craft.
Monast. Sonor. Scintilline. Belial.
If I keep playing the campaign, I’m sure I’ll just invent new parts, which will only cinch the noose. I don’t think designers have committed some kind of sin. What I’m saying is that my own peculiarities turn those features into a kind of mental cul-de-sac, and by the time I’ve escaped them, I usually don’t return.
Burnout Revenge and Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter both hit today, an event I plan to take full advantage of, which is to say I will buy them. I’ve had a chance to check out both of them out in advance of their retail release - by granting an unnamed party almost complete access to my body. I would love to give you more detailed impressions, but my time with the games took place during several hours of profound spiritual darkness.