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Tycho / 2 days ago

I know that it totally looks like something we already have a mental construct for, one hundred percent, but it’s not actually that.

The official description for Gigantic calls it a MOBA, which, I mean… hm.  I don’t think that’s what this is.  I’m not just being fastidious.  That is to say, I’m definitely being fastidious, but it’s not the only thing.  This came up with Overwatch: if the “classes” you can play as are different characters, that’s not sufficient.  Gigantic is closer to the traditional model, with ability customizing trees and an explicitly enunciated Enemy Base, but if you don’t have creeps to compete for and itemization, I think you haven’t quite arrived at the term.  Eschewing some traditions in the service of a faster, more cinematic experience makes explaining it tough, but it’s worth it.

As established, your team’s Creature is their Base, and vice versa.  I initially typed that your Creature was your Bae, which also has the ring of truth.  Because of how they are drawn and animated, you will feel something akin to devotion for them and you will really, really hate it when people fuck with it - the vulnerability of your beloved beast being pinned by your opponent’s vile monster is…  it doesn’t feel good.  You win by scoring three points for your team, and to do that, you have to put the enemy creature in a Compromising Position.  You do that by killing members of the opposing team, and by gathering orbs from capture points around the map.  The points themselves are a little different than you might expect; you can summon a creature to these points to do some work for you.  Aside from collecting the orb automagically, different creatures can confer different benefits in their radius, and can be upgraded to the level where they are a tremendous pain in the fucking ass.  Your creature has a bar up at the top that shows how close you are to Rampage, which is when they go over to the enemy creature and pin it down so you can strike its “weak point” to score.  It’s firmly delineated in that bar what energy came from what, so you can see what your actions mean right away.  Any energy the opposing team was able to generate becomes a shield for their creature in this pinned phase; it’s not a certainty that you will score a point.  Fights by your creature are for fucking real.  But: score three of these points, and you win the game.

Characters have Ults in Gigantic, but Ults are drawn from the same pool you summon and upgrade creatures with.  The best use of your “Ult” might be to support the team in another way.  It’s a resource, essentially - and that’s a choice I like having.  I dunno; I think you should try it.  Right now, I think the remaining challenges for the game involve legibility for the systems:  it’s a fast game, and I feel like there’s a role for the UI and Audio to communicate hits better in a game that’s so visually lush.  The main thing is that I thought I “got” it, I didn’t at all, and there really is something here.  It’s in open beta on Windows 10 and Xbox One.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 5 days ago

He’s up to his ass in Thornwatch shit, watchin’ them thornz, but I was able to get him over to watch me lose a few times, which is really all I wanted.  All I needed!  Then he can go.  I think my timing on this one was just wrong; I need to remember that he is like the MCP.  In many ways, obviously, but chiefly in that he is surrounded by a whirling shield, and cultural projectiles must be carefully timed to pass through.

A thousand years ago, when webcomic was written as two words, there was a style of comic called “Two Guys On A Couch.”  This was not an ennobling term, I must firmly establish this.  But I should establish why I was on that couch to begin with: I have a thing, it probably has a name, I can think of several even, but I don’t really trust the information that comes in.  I mean, to me.  Generally speaking I think it’s called Reality.  I’m sure I’ve talked about it before, but I require someone like Gabriel acting as a kind of remote, perceptual drone.  Except…  I don’t trust their perceptions either.  What I require is a datastream, and then something like a checksum I can use to assess signal, trying to arrive at something akin to a resilient notion.  I push my stuff on him to make use of his scanning apparatus.  So if Gabe and I both like something, fuckin’... mark it on your calendar.  That doesn’t make it good in some universal way necessarily, but it’s very, very rare.

The human brain is engineered to like rare.

There’s an iOS beta of Duelyst announced now, and you can apply to get in via this Holy, Ominpresent Web to which we owe so much.  I play as Lyonar because, to me, it feels the most like my beloved Protectorate of Menoth from Warmachine, and the tactical and spatial component of that faction feels very firm.  I note in the wiki that Lyonar is recommended for beginners; why not begin?  We have need of you.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 6 days ago

Warehouse Fulfillment Positions Available!

I have the official release that the Warehouse team put together down below, but: we have a warehouse, a big one, and if handling fulfillment isn’t fulfilling for you or your company, I’d love to introduce you to my crew.  Hit us up at to talk more.  But!  We need a couple people down there, so I’ll leave this up through the weekend.  If the below sounds good to you, kick a resume over to  Here goes: 

Help Wanted!

Our Warehouse is currently looking to hire a couple full time warehouse associates. The Penny Arcade Warehouse is an artisanal fulfillment center that manages online retail store operations for Penny Arcade and partner merchandise. This is a fast paced environment where we strive to ship packages as quickly and accurately as possible.

Position Title: Warehouse Support
Location: Redmond, WA
Availability: Mon-Fri Day shift (9am-5pm)

- Order Picking
- Order Packing
- Offloading, loading and palletizing (which is a real word!)
- Use of pallet jack


- Sense of urgency a must!
- Able to lift up to 50lbs
- High School Diploma or equivalent
- Ability to learn quickly and thrive in a fast-paced environment
- Strong attention to detail
- Able to walk and stand for long periods of time
- Self-Motivated
- Flexible
- Willing to learn to operate various pieces of warehouse equipment

- Knowledge and experience with inventory tracking and online retail systems
- Experience with forklift operations
- Knowledge of gaming, tabletop and video, a PLUS!

Penny Arcade is an equal opportunity employer.  We think truly serving our audience requires a diverse team and strongly encourage applications from all candidates regardless of gender identity and ethnic background.

Tycho / 1 week ago

I’m always telling him to check out my shit, and he’s always telling me to check out his; the joke is that we don’t really do that.  But I think I’m gonna look at his “whatever it is” this time and actually try to understand it.

My thing right now is Duelyst again, which he played a ways back and then bounced off of it, which I don’t think is actually evidence of a personal failing because it was a different game back then.  Also, I messed up during that crucial initial phase; I came on too strong, I pushed him into it.  I know that’s not how to play it with him, but sometimes my ardor gets the best of me.  Why don’t you like this plainly incredible thing, this thing which I’m good at for some reason?  Why don’t you want to be pulverized, continuously, literally mulched, for my amusement?  Actually, yeah.  I totally get what happened now.

Honestly, even if he doesn’t get into it, it’s okay with me.  I think he would like it, but honestly?  After two decades of my shit he’s probably earned a single, unfettered act of recognition.  His thing right now is Gigantic, literally a game called Gigantic, I don’t just mean he likes a big thing.  He sent out a mail to anybody trying it out for the first time that began like this:
My advice if you have not played Gigantic before:
You do not know how to play Gigantic.

And he’s right; I thought I did know.  This keeps happening, actually.  I talked about it with Final Fantasy XV even.  You might get lulled into the notion that you’re playing a kind of brawler with Noctis, and I guess it could be interpreted that way, but it’s not an especially good one.  Likewise, I thought I understood all the iconography Gigantic presented, because they resemble things I’d seen before - but they don’t mean the same things, at all.  That’s how brains work.  They’re always trying to save cycles by hitting the cache.  Didn’t work here.  We know a couple people working on it over there, Levin, who used to work here, and Lexxy, who we met a thousand years ago on Strip Search.  That usually makes me scrutinize harder; maybe I couldn’t see it, as a result.

In any case, our own Gabriel is gonna try to help me figure out what is what with this Gigantic stuff on today’s stream!  Roll through around 2PST, if you are so inclined; we can learn this shit together.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 1 week ago

Acquisitions Incorporated Shirts + Valentine Available Now!

Hey!  The shirts I was telling you about just hit.  The Omin and Jim ones!

Plus, if you order today - Valentine’s Day, The Day of Love - you’ll also get a special valentine from the person on the shirt you just bought.  What?  You heard right.  We’re innovators.

While we’re talking AI, I’ve always been fond of Gavin’s Wizard Cop shirt as well, drawn from Acquisitions Incorporated: The Series.  I doubt it’s just me.

Okay, I know there’s a lot of stuff.  But there’s also something else special: this legit incredible Child’s Play Heart Pin And Lanyard set, which you might see at shows, but is only available on our store for one day.

I think that’s everything.  Oh!  And Happy Valentine’s day.  Now I’m done.


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