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Tycho / 22 hours ago

We were trying to figure out The Ninja Phenomenon before he was playing with rappers or some shit, and now it’s even more difficult to pull this apart.  But we can talk about the sort of shit this motherfucker gets up to on his stream.

The shooter substrate beneath his play is excellent.  His UI manipulation is cartoonishly fast.  His building looks instinctual.  I can understand each of these modes in essence because I do primitive versions of them.  But for a normal person, a human person whose soul is not in hock to Lucifer, they aren’t all happening at the same time.  When I think about building something, and I’m aware that this is why I will never accomplish anything in this context, it’s like changing a cartridge in the Switch.  Whatever was happening before kinda stops.  Then I prepare a mind with perfect readiness for the task.  Now, I’m ready to make a single wall.

The state of play at the higher tier of execution in Fortnite is more like a wizard duel than a shooter.  They travel around like fucking Iceman, creating paths as they are required.  They aren’t two separate games at all: they’re literally creating mazes around each other and orchestrating fucking SPACE as a fundamental part of the fight.  I would be scared to death if I played in a game where I saw something like the shit he does.  I would assume he was outside my window, ready to jump in, having just fashioned a haunted spire.

Uh…  yeah.  So, watch this video, drawn more or less at random but also representative, and then think back to the cries of PUBG cloning.  Maybe it looked like that at first because we could not imagine a Ninja yet.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 4 days ago

YouTube is Broadcast Television and Twitch is Cable.  Does that sound about right?  Am I close?  I feel like that happened really fast.  YouTube’s true audience is Unilever or whoever the fuck.  Multinational Hydrae bound in circles of salt by public markets.  Twitch is the warping House of Chaos that dances in fire.  You have no idea what kind of angel or devil is going to splup out of some inky hole and currently - currently - that is a market advantage.

Having chiddlers is like having an ambulatory weathervane in your house that walks around and gets batted here and there by the ghostly winds of the larger culture.  You can sense the larger currents very easily with the use of these precision devices, and you can make them at home.

A year ago, kids wanted to be YouTubers and now they want to be Ninja.  I don’t really see a universe where this force moves backward.  Twitch is where you go to have your optic nerve overridden by audiovisual sucrose.  YouTube is now where you go to learn that your uncle is a racist.

Everything is rotting in real time, including things that are as much of an assumption as YouTube.  It is vitally important that we remember a few things: When Penny Arcade started, there was no YouTube.  Indeed, broadband was not common.  Mobile browsing of the kind that makes up the bulk of today’s usage was science fiction.  People have this idea that history is over; that’s just some place where dumb people without our profound intellect beat rocks together.  In truth, there is no present at all; we live in the heat and pressure of the past grinding against the future.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 6 days ago

I tried to explain it to Grub Dumpster a couple days ago.  Imagine the moment where you’re trying to push the final point in, say, Numbani.  The sled has turned the corner and the lip is now over the point.  It’s lipping.  Time is out, and it’s only desperate, frenzied roosting on the objective itself that is keeping this balloon in the air.

I feel nothing.

At least, not compared with him.  There’s something happening over the baseline but you’d need electrodes and probably a grant of some kind to discern it.  I know people who, like, stomp and kick and yell.  They care a lot and this caring, sometimes called Giving A Shit, is often correlated with success in the endeavor.

Gabe hates virtually everything he’s ever drawn.  Ronia will destroy a piece if it isn’t up to her standards.  I don’t know anybody great at something who isn’t weird, or weird about it.  I’m not saying it’s not possible, but I’ve met thousands of people and hundreds of artists and they’re all “interesting people” to coin a phrase.

A team in the Overwatch League called the Dallas Fuel is not doing so hot, and on top of that it had a player who kept them in the media for the wrong reasons.  Playing on these teams is one part of your “compensation”; the rest of it comes from you hustling on social media and streaming from your own channel.  There are Twitch norms I don’t subscribe to and barely understand, but Twitch feels very much like the Internet of twenty years ago. If you’re an organization trying to monetize that community and pluck it’s proven fruits, say with an incredibly expensive team in the Overwatch league, you need to figure out which one of you is the monk and which one of you is the scorpion.

In a way, it doesn’t matter if they were right to kick him out; they couldn’t keep him anymore.  There are twelve teams in the OWL, and they’re tenth.  The only articles I ever read about the team were about homophobic remarks, and when the next story involved an emote with racist connotations, that was it for him.  I couldn’t even name another player on that team.  Well, except for the other guy who said homophobic shit.  We need a word for the kind of arsonist that burns down their own life.  I have some experience in these matters; I could make use of it also.

Anyway, they kicked the first guy out accompanied by this press release, which was really the only press release they could write.  We’ve offered valuable clarity in today’s incomparable strip.

In the old order, if something was big, it was mainstream by default.  There were great, forbidding Argonaths that stood vigil over the culture.  They knew something that’s apparently been forgotten in the wise fires that burned down our loathsome and barbaric past, which is that a pulse is not sufficient license for the world stage.

(CW)TB out.

give me a sign

Tycho / 1 week ago

Glabrezu and I watched the trailer for Hogwarts Mystery with… I don’t know what it was with.  We like Harry Potter, but - to leverage grade school-native notation - we don’t like Harry Potter.  But we’re down.  We haven’t left it behind.

I understand that they continued to make them, but after the fourth movie I didn’t know what the point in watching them was.  I already knew what was going to happen, so well in fact that when they deviated from it I was mostly just annoyed.  I did like the whole Wrock thing, and I definitely consider myself a supporter of comprehensive mystical education for the youth; going to Universal’s Hogwarts and Hogsmeade with my moist larvae was fucking amazing.  I don’t have any interest in making them vessels for my own motives or claiming credit for their accomplishments, but it is nice to take them somewhere and have them experience the correct and proper amount of awe, so that you might better approximate it - even in your ancient dessication.

It’s really not a hundred percent clear what’s going on in the game or what you’re supposed to do.  I’m not really sure it’s gonna matter too much.  My daughter Ronia is going absorb the game by some heretofore unknown chemical process.  It’s like me: I can tolerate a lot from a game about Sherlock Holmes.  I could tolerate a Sherlock Holmes game that would occasionally, but thoroughly, puncture my cornea.  I might even not remember to tell you about that part of the game.  That’s how transported I would be into the world Sir Arthur Conan Doyle so vividly imagined.

The fact that it’s a fremium game is disconcerting, but I take some comfort in the idea that when we are financially devastated by it, I’ll have several novel new writing topics.

(CW)TB out.

Tycho / 2 weeks ago

I said before that one of the best ways to determine a person’s politics is what they don’t consider political.  Well, let me put it to you this way.  I don’t consider this comic political.

Because of where I live and what I look like, it doesn’t require a lot of imagination to reverse engineer my position on what is often called “the issues.”  Generally speaking I don’t rub your face in it because I don’t know your life, and I don’t assume I’m smarter than everyone else.  I don’t claim a right to demagogue simply because people occasionally enjoy my upmarket dick jokes.  But I’m still a person who exists in an increasingly fraught rhetorical context and I make comics about my life.

So, if you’re mad or whatever, understand I’m substantially more angry than you are and potentially more angry than you are even capable of being.  It infuriates me that we have to talk about this again, I thought we’d rolled a boulder in front of this thing and spoken the Words Of Warding.  Jack Thompson used to call Mike sometimes, and yell.  Just yell and yell.  He was always convinced that there was some kind of Media Conspiracy at the time, but we’ve never gotten on especially well with The Media.  As I suggested during the events in question it was more than possible, plausible even, for a bunch of individual people to all decide they hate a stupid person simultaneously.

I think if you’re gonna have a meeting about this kind of shit, and you don’t talk about guns, and you don’t talk about how nobody gives a fuck about these young men until they pull a trigger, I sorta have to wonder what the purpose of your meeting is.  Take-Two is almost certainly there because of GTA.  I’m guessing Zenimax is there because they own id Software, who made Doom.  I think what you’re doing is talking to everybody outside the room.  And what you’re saying is “carry on, carry on, just this way, until we’re all rowing home on rivers of blood.”

(CW)TB out.

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