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Mei got buffed to a gleam in a recent patch, and we made a comic that establishes the contours of my opinion on the matter.  I enunciated the same position online, and I got tooken to school on Tweetzor, because my nub was showing and I had to L2P.

I talked once about how I wondered if Melbourne and - how it is properly said - Mael-Byn, the Southron Spire were the same word, or even the same idea.  Overwatch makes me wonder something adjacent; that is to say, it makes me wonder if every warring fiefdom inside that concept is equally Overwatch.

In Competitive Mode, you can’t stack champs.  On console, there are those who have made a pact with a creature that calls itself “XIM” that enables acts of superhuman precision.  Weaponry that targets automagically has different ramifications on console and PC.  These things are all completely independent from player skill.

At the upper tier of player skill, Mei is not viable in the meta.  This is what I’m being told.  I was going to put some quotes in there, but those things are all normal language now.  You would make a sound like that and nobody would bat an eye.  At my tier of play, Mei, actually, hang on.  If I don’t type this sentence out it’s just going to knock around in my head all day.

At my tier of play, know that Mei flexes cryo; I’ve got an icicle in each one of my eyeholes.

I’m not even advocating for the solution proposed in the strip, though clearly that’s the optimal scenario for me.  But down where I am in the muck, changes meant to secure some kind of destiny for her way up in the skill ladder is deeply, deeply bad news for my optic nerve.

(CW)TB out.



My God, it’s full of pins!

Warlock, Titan, Hunter and Ghost Pins [Bungie]
Available at the Bungie Booth #439

Deathclaw, Emily, and Dark Brotherhood Pins [Bethesda Softworks]
Available for $10 each at the Bethesda Booth #1102, 1303

Coon and Mysterion Pins [Ubisoft]
Get a photo at the Ubisoft Booth #605 to get a pin. Pins will also be available at the South Park: The Fractured But Whole Panel on Friday, 3:00pm in Wyvern Theatre.

N7 Mass Effect and Mega Man Pins [ThinkGeek]
Available for $10 each at the ThinkGeek Booth #SKY9

Brutal Legend and Hexipal Pins [Double Fine]
Available for $15 each at the Double Fine Booth #106

Claptrap and Balloonicorn Pins [We Love Fine]
Available at the We Love Fine Booth #7411

Youseeks VR and ??? Pins [Adult Swim Games]
“Adult Swim Games: The Arcade (and VR!). We have Rooms 605 & 610 as one contiguous space.
-Rick and Morty Simulator: Virtual Rick-ality pin is gotten by playing the demo. Limit to 200 per day.
-??? pin is gotten by taking a photo with ??? on the floor, and playing the demo in our room. Limit to 200 per day.”

Duelyst Lyonar and Duelyst Songhai Crest Pins [Counterplay Games]
Available at the Counterplay Games Booth #6817.

Lymirth and Green Flame Fist Pins [Wizards of the Coast]
“The pins are being given away at the D&D area on the 2nd floor of the Annex. Anyone who plays in an Acquisitions Inc adventure or in a Storm King’s Thunder D&D adventure will get a pin.”

Legion Pin [Blizzard Entertainment]
“Booth #425 to those who demo the game.”

The Behemoth Chicken Foot Pin [The Behemoth]
Available at The Behemoth Booth #1501, 1504, 1513

Owl Bear Pin [Worldbuilders]
Available at Cards Against Humanity

Mafia 223rd Pin [2K Games]
Available at the Mafia III - Creating the Open World of New Bordeaux Panel on Saturday, 1:30pm in Hydra Theatre.

Cthulhu Swim [Kris Straub]
Available at Kris Straub table in Bandland.

Construct Pin [Runic Games]
Available at Perfect World Booth #133.

Thimbleweed Park Pin [Terrible Toybox]
Available at the Terrible Toybox Booth #848 (Indie Megabooth)

Armello Logo Pin [League of Geeks]
Available for $15 (cash only) at the PAX AUS Roadshow Booth #6211.

PAX AUS Roadshow Koala Pin [Surprise Attack Games & League of Geeks]
Available at the Surprise Attack Games Booth #6312.

LRR Tugger Nutts Pin [LoadingReadyRun]
Available at the LoadingReadyRun Table in Bandland.

H1Z1 King of the Kill Pin [Daybreak Game Company]
“Head to the H1Z1: King of the Kill Box of Destiny (4th Floor, S2 Atrium Lobby), strike a winner’s stance on the podium and post your photo to Twitter or Instagram. Make sure to include the hashtag #TakeYourShot and tag @H1Z1KotK! Then, be one of the first 500 participants to come to the H1Z1: King of the Kill Twitch Partner Lounge each day (Booth #1909) to play a match and show us your post to claim your official H1Z1: King of the Kill pin.”

STEVe Pin [Dreamsail Games]
“Bring your Steam or PS4 Blade Ballet email receipt to Booth 752 to claim your STEVe Pinny Arcade Pin. Pins will also be given away as prizes during tournaments. Indie Megabooth 752”

Samurai Punk Pin [Samurai Punk]
Available for $15 at the Samurai Punk Booth #6214.

Quincy Pin [Bill Amend]
Available at the Bill Amend Table in Bandland.

Drawful Owl Pin [Jackbox Games]
Available at the Jackbox Stage in the WSCC International Court.

Lovebug Pin [Katie Rice]
Available at the Katie Rice Table in Bandland.

MC Frontalot Final Boss Pin [MC Frontalot]
Available at the MC Frontalot Table in Bandland.

Child’s Play 2016 Pin [Child’s Play Charity]
Available at the Child’s Play Charity Booth #N6 (North Lobby).


PAX West 2016 Pin Set
Available at both PAX Merch Booths.

Limited Edition PAX West 2016 Pin
ONLY available at the PAX Merch Lite Booth

Merch 4.0 Pin
Available at both PAX Merch Booths.


PA Staff Set 4
Trade with Penny Arcade staff members for their Staff Series 4 pins.

Rage Gabe and Tycho Pins
Trade with Gabe (Mike) and Tycho (Jerry.)


Get your Pin Quest here.

-Gabe out

Tycho / 4 days ago

Gears Of War 4: FOR THE WATCH

Gabriel is the Satan of this age, an electronic devil, and he stole victory from me before because he is a liar and a cheater and I hate him.  But that is IN THE PAST.  Because the next time we battle For The Watch, the field is Gears of War -  a game I take very, very seriously.  The highlight reel is just going to be me grinding through his torso with the chainsaw gun over and over.  The Chainsaw Gun is called a Lancer, by the way.  That’s how you know I’m for fucking real.


Tycho / 4 days ago

I’m a little surprised that, after like eighteen years of this shit, I never named a strip “Dialogue.”

Artificial Intelligence is one of my fascinations because, as I have suggested previously, I think it’s the only type of “alien” life we’re likely to discover.  Talking to people who live in the same town as you is already almost impossible; every moment you speak or don’t speak is a Goddamn maze of briars.  And that’s with creatures we have something in common with.  Talking to an organism that doesn’t need to respirate seems like that might be, you know, pretty novel.

Immediately after writing the previous strip we came up with the new one.  I really do think we will make something like that on accident.  There are people who spend a lot of time, tons, worrying about this type of sentient.  I was surprised to discover the even, thorough pragmatism with which they approach a matter most people consider science fiction.  To a certain extent, they’re right to engage in some volume of fear.  After all, our species is only here because we overthrew the Xcrlnaoth, a race of sentient vapors that inadvertently condensed on an ice cold glass of gruln on a hot Krthntl’s day.

I gotta call out the rad PA Megacorp Instagram stuff the design crew is fucking manifesting on there.  I just got my new maul for Acquisitions Incorporated, and let’s take a moment to appreciate that I get to say something like that and have it accurately describe my life, but here’s that same sentence in the visual language:

A photo posted by Penny Arcade (@pamegacorp) on

I am not a cool person, as in, like, not a cool person at all, so I don’t know what filter he applied to this in order to make me seem like someone to be reckoned with, but God Damn.  I said God Damn.  Honored, honored every day, to be situated within their area of effect.  And if you’re sitting up close during the live show on Sunday, remember that I throw this shit into the crowd after the game every year.  So, you know.  Practice shielding your head and crying out as your forearms are reduced to wet sacks of broken glass.

(CW)TB out.

whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh

Tycho / 6 days ago

I think that I understand absolutely every position on No Man’s Sky, regardless of what my avatar might have related in the strip.  I said that it was a personality test, but I didn’t say exactly what I meant by that.

There is a type of game called a Walking Simulator, it’s not an ennobling term.  Functionally what it means from a rhetorical perspective is a “non-game.”  The fissure that terminology exposes is substantial:  there are people who do, and who do not, perceive exploration as gameplay.

There’s some context here, too.  I think there may be a further bifurcation, potentially, where the same game experienced in virtual reality or on a regular, human monitor might be materially different in terms of emotional texture.  But that’s not the important part.  The way you intersect as a player-entity in the worlds of No Man’s Sky don’t parse sufficiently as a long-term form of gameplay for many people.  If you came up with Minecraft, you can slide laterally to No Man’s Sky as Gabriel’s sons have done.  They’ll never get tired of it.  Even by the end of the first world, though, I Saw The Matrix - I beheld the numeric curtain draped over everything.  It didn’t stop me from enjoying it, because this is literally a game where one of the primary reward mechanisms comes in the form of alien words.  But the game can’t get by purely on Wonder anymore.  Some measure of that magic has been perforated.

With PAX West fast approaching, we’re nearing the end of the first season of Acquisitions Incorporated: The Series.  You may be thinking, “Well, certainly, I crave adventure.  But perhaps this episode may be safely avoided.”  You could not be more wrong:

Gaze ye into the feral visage of Patrick Rothfuss, who is also Viari.  Do you want to contend with this mad eyed brute?  No ward can contain him.  Try to imagine what this slavering hate-beast would do if he found out you hadn’t subscribed to the channel.  The only safe course of action is to gaze into our pearly Subscrorb, and drink deep of its secrets.  Of course, there are other avenues to this arcane knowledge:

iTunes AcqInc / PA DLC
Stitcher AcqInc / PA DLC
Overcast AcqInc / PA DLC
Google Play AcqInc / PA DLC

You know, if you’re into that kind of shit.

(CW)TB out.

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