It occurred to me later that we could have gone with Gears Of War: 4 The Watch. I like that a lot. But I can’t think about all that, now. I can only think about how I’m going to saw Gabriel and his misfit army into CORDWOOD. Here are the tools I will use to bring about that scenario:
Kiko Villasenor is short for Francisco Villasenor, but long for Lucifer. He and I used to tear it up on Gears back when Wingman became a thing. One of the most underrated gametytpes in history, it took the traditional 5v5 and instead made it 2v2v2v2v2 and we were one of the 2s in that equation - the ones at the end, ass-deep in viscera. There was a bug in matchmaking back then that made getting into a round take twenty minutes. Or more. Did it. Worth it. And now, we form the diamond-hard core of of this precision Gabriel grinding machine.
Amy Falcone, who hails from the Wytchwild. We met years ago, when she was a contestant on our kinda sorta reality show Strip Search. What I learned was that she was quite real indeed, and after playing on her team every night for a couple months in another, lesser game, brought her onboard. I understand that her boyfriend chose to be on Gabriel’s team, which, you know, maybe not a strategic choice. If I had the choice between a golden chariot and a coffin, I would opt for the former. I’m the chariot in this metaphor. And Gabriel is the other, bad thing.
Kris Straub is an incredible creator, as evidenced by his ongoing work at Chainsawsuit, Broodhollow, and the startling video output at Chainsawsuit Originals. But he is also an incredible destroyer - no doubt because, with such intimate knowledge of the act of creation, the reverse comes so naturally. Perhaps too naturally. Will he be a danger, even to his own team? He’s an evil force I can barely control, but I’ve decided to take the risk.
My Fifth Horseman is not something I am prepared to reveal yet. Basically all you need to know about him is that he will draw his scythe across the earth, and reap a terrible harvest. He is also pretty good at Gears of War. You mighta heard of him. In fact, I guarantee you have.