Penny Arcade

Gabe's kids got him back into Titanfall 2. I think they might already have moved on from it, but he and Kara are still in there. They added a whole Wave Based Horde Mode thing, there's a new Titan, it's wild. But there's a stalwart community that remained in there, and they've slavered for exactly the kind of prey that Gabriel represents. Somehow engaging in perpetual battle with this brutal new pantheon hasn't scared him off yet. I have the ultimate and robust document here, a full…

Being a parent is always fraught. There's always been a profundity of horseshit associated with the practice, but you can't forget in the prosecution of these duties that being terraformed by hormones is a lot to handle too. So while they're being remade at the molecular level and you're trying to explain to your son on the spectrum that, uh, yeah, basically all people lie fucking 24/7, you have to seek out, identify, and protect the moments where you can see each other clearly. And also you…

We'll see what today's episode of The Mandalorian brings us, I guess, but the first three episodes are essentially a trilogy of television length shows that constitute - in aggregate - the best Star Wars movie Disney has produced. Solo and Rogue One evoke certain genres - heist and war, respectively - nestled in yards upon yards of comforting, nostalgic fleece. The Mandalorian just feels like Star Wars, because Star Wars was already a Western. They resonate at the same frequency. …

I actually tried to get into Transformers Trading Card Game, but I couldn't, physically couldn't, because it had been consumed entire by a flock of ravenous robot worshippers. I never had a chance to do anything with Devastator or whatever. I think they have Devastator. I don't know. I've never played it. Remember? Look back up at the top of this paragraph. Gabe tried to pull up a video on the Internet Web about how you're supposed to Transform, but he could not digest it. Creating…