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American Ninja Warrior

It occasionally falls to me to play Gaming Historian, and as Gabriel is in another of his Retro Moods it was easy to recall the incredibly dark times associated with the Xbox, PS2, and GameCube. Living room garottings were commonplace - but our lust for buttons and various bars and XP was so raw, so stokéd, that we just piled them to the side. Oh, eventually MadCatz would offer succor to The Ruined - but that trailing z always made them suspect. It wasn't until the majestic WaveBird lit upon the scene that the future truly began.

May Sticker Pack Update!

I apologize for the delay, but the May Sticker pack for Club PA members will hit the store on May 23rd. Things have just been crazy at the PA offices with multiple weddings and a new software rollout. The good news is that in addition to the Club PA sticker pack, some new professionally printed designs will also hit the sticker shop on the 23rd that anyone will be able to grab. These will be my Acquisitions Inc full sheet and my Est.1998 PA design. So check out Gabe’s Sticker shop next Thursday for all the new goodies!

-Gabe out




We had roused a novel demographic with a recent strip - namely, Mormons who also worship Elon Musk. I hadn't been previously aware of this tendency. Spokane, or at least the places I've lived in Spokane, were full of unfailingly nice Mormons who were having the same trouble navigating religion and adolescence I was, except they seemed to be doing better at it. It's possible that I learned too late that the much-referenced "bite" in Barq's - Barq's Rooted Beers - was caffeine. I was already vibrating at a dangerous frequency, just being fifteen. It probably wasn't helping.

The Truest Of Stories

As part of Gabriel's mission to Play The Classics, he has been traveling through racing games of Earth's ancient past. That's part of how he came to follow and then support the cries of those who had their lawful purchases annihilated. Or, maybe not annihilated, but simply placed upon a very high shelf - so high that you can jump and jump and yet not secure it.


Acquisitions Intoxicated! Black Remnant!

By Tycho – May 14, 2024

Our streams are back up today - traffic gave us a late start, plus Twitter isn't letting me post links anymore...? But I do have a website, and I will post it here.  

12-1:30 Acquisitions Intoxicated is a brewing show on Twitch! Maybe the only one? But we take dorky concepts like D&D Classes or sci-fi artifacts and make beers out of them. Come hang out!

Then, at 2:30, join us for the return of our Battletech campaign - Black Remnant. We're just about to put one of our characters on a shonen journey of self-discovery!!


Say The Thing

This is the video we mention in the strip. I'm tempted to put the word "interview" in quotes; Xbox President Sarah Bond was essentially thrown to the wolves doing something like this after the closures.  None of us have any use for these performances, and as far as I'm concerned we shouldn't require them.  

So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it

I’ve seen a couple videos recently where people claiming to be journalists sit on a stage with a business person and pretend to ask them questions. I say pretend because they don’t seem to care what the answers are or if answers are given at alI in fact. I would be so ashamed to be either of the people in this scenario. The useless interviewer brought on stage for the appearance of legitimacy or the vacuous executive whose only skill is the ability to speak for thirty minutes without actually communicating anything. It’s just a couple of people who suck at their jobs and for some reason expect me to watch. What a stupid little pageant.



The Other Blur

I like Abandonware as an aesthetic, as another strange cubby online to spelunk, but I don't think "Abandonware" is a legal term and my suspicion is that there's no meaningful way to distinguish it from piracy. I'm not telling you what to do - I mean, the law kinda is, but I am no agent of the law. The key is that you gotta get your rhetorical ducks in a row so that when you're face to face with one of the stretched, drumhead-taut faces that represents the machine you're able to deploy a compelling performance. Right? Like my friend Mike.



I was too busy this weekend to engage with what was easily the story of the weekend, that is, if you aren't fully enmeshed in USDA Choice rap beef. Helldivers 2 announced that they would begin requiring PC players to sign into the game with a PSN account. I started posting panels from the strip over the weekend on the Tweeter which people seemed to enjoy, but by the time it came to act the largest part of the conflict had been resolved.

Grab The Collab!

Had a blast last Friday getting my new tattoo, the full contours of which you can see on this sacred VOD - I'm up first, and then there's a cool video that Tony made, followed by Gav's Outer Wilds themed piece complete with the rich lore that birthed it. Cool guests materialize from time to time, like Durty Dwab, also known as Dwab Triple, who was in the office taking pics of new stuff for the store.


A Gentler Decapitation

Late in the night, Moraq likes to send me the little treats he has discovered on Reddit. I wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised him: outside of an occasional trek to What Could Go Wrong that concludes after I cringe my face inside out, I do not dwell in that place. It feels very Old Internet in a way that I like, but I had a hard time on the forums of that era also. One of my defining characteristics is that I'm always uncomfortable everywhere.

He was born in that darkness.

Falling In

Even just on PC, the Fallout 4 "Next Gen" update has been pretty goof troop; those who owned it on GOG managed to pull the ripcord via its ability to rollback patches. It broke a bunch of mods, and it's important to note that while there are lots of mods that add content many of them just sand the edges off UI concerns or make the game easier and more fun to play. On Playstation, the whole affair gets stranger: it wasn't clear originally which versions of the game were entitled to the update, which I sorta just thought was free. I'm gonna paste a paragraph here from the IGN Article about it - try to parse this:

Bazed And Confused

At one time or another, we have all done something expressly for the 'Gram - or at any rate, with the 'Gram firmly in mind. As those who exerted our will even pre-gram, and whose work largely exists online, I wonder if the dark energy described in the strip is an us thing or a thing that is just part of existing in a time where any given moment might become infinite.