The only time I feel bad for not having a newer console is when Housemarque drops something. With a pedigree that goes back to the Amiga, they have developed and honed their taste to Jamon Iberico levels - I wouldn't be surprised if they let their games feed on acorns, free-range. They've perfected arcade feel, itself a kind of artisanal, out-of-time style, and now with Returnal and (from Mork tells me) Saros, they've mastered progression as well.

Both of their latest games have a narrative thrust that allows for the recursive treks of a roguelite - which I like - but is something that Gabriel absolutely, positively does not need. They're showing him a leg or something. He described a moment where a gauzy curtain blows the way you might describe a biting insect. A game this good doesn't require these genuflections, as far as he's concerned - and he definitely doesn't require implied romance to motivate him.

When my eldest was little, we had to get into some of the theories about humor because they have a hard time with social cues and also, you know, they can't one hundred percent make sense of the human face or differentiate between them. They love to goof and josh around, but there is a type of person (in the model we were using, it was called a "joke refuser") that is simply not interested in humor and finds it stinky. Gabe is like that for Romance. He does not want it around. The only kind of romance he is interested in occurs at the subatomic level, between quarks or some shit, inside the experimental drive of a lost Colony Ship. Beyond that, he's good.

Hearing him describe it, all he's aware of is the dialogue tree. It's not possible for him to invest anything in that. Indeed, he would feel weird for doing it - and for what? To see some weirdly shiny electronic puppets flop around? Bro. Masturbation with extra steps. He ain't need it. He's well versed in how to get from A to Jork.

Dabriel is gone this #Fridabe, so I'll be flying solo in the Legendary tier queue in today's inwigorating sponsored stream for Once Upon A Galaxy! The Stream will start a little bit after I upload this post, actually. See you there! I mean, maybe. I guess that was presumptuous.

(CW)TB out.