E32k4: Multiple Comics
There are hiking trails near Mount Rainer, and if you want to brave such things that’s fine, but the forest service does ask that you bring a few emergency supplies. This is probably to delay the onset of cannibal acts a few hours while rangers attempt to track down the next batch of city folk. It was these terrifically useful items I removed by the handful from the pack Brenna had been using up there, and I was relatively certain that I had gotten it all by the time I began replacing that stuff with the things I’d want to die in a forest with, like ironic game shirts and a phone charger that fits any outlet.
I never get stopped at those Airport Baggage things, no stranger ever diddles me with a latex glove because I am absolutely ordinary in every way. So when I was made to wait without my shoes - which is oddly dehumanizing - a man I was not familiar with began to stir the contents of my bag like a large kettle. I began to sass back in various ways regarding the dangerous Game Boy hinge or lethal mouse cord. I don’t know what made me do that. Certainly the man did not enjoy it, and continued to insist that there was something really dangerous in there. “Probably not,” I said, though I did bring a potentially hazardous box of mints to his attention.
The security man proceeded to draw a long knife out of my bag. The thing was practically a sword, and as he held that shape over the bag I could feel an frigid, unseen hand grip my scrotum. The knife had a black wooden handle and a serrated edge. It was not, in fact, a mint. Or, if it was, this was the sort of mint you should eat only as a last resort.
His supervisor came over, holding the knife and looking at me as though I were an animal in need of a reprimand, a creature somewhat outside the reach of language. “This is a knife.” I knew that much. “You can’t bring it on the plane.” I knew that too, actually. They don’t give that kind of shit back, by the way - the weapons you try to sneak on board? Nope. Turns out they keep that stuff.
So then I board the plane itself, and who should I see but Gabe Newell! Valve is really from the same area we are - Zach has seen him a couple times as I understand it - but it’s kind of cool to see someone involved with the legendary Half-Life, yardstick for all of first-person gaming right there on your plane. Half-Life 2, though, I’m sort of done thinking about it. Obviously, I’m buying it the day it comes out, and probably over their much maligned Steam. Supposedly they have something very nice to see here at this show. But after a year of sites reposting the same “new” movies over and over, and with the September release date they knew they’d miss but let us believe in anyway, I have other things to think about.
Played Jungle Beat and Guild Wars, that’s what we’ll talk about next time - in addition to anything that strikes me tomorrow. You can play Guild Wars yourself, right now - and you should, especially if you liked Phantasy Star Online or Diablo. It’s a pretty clean mix of those two games, and if invoking those hallowed franchises has stirred your heart just go grab the software. Shit, I’ll even host the Goddamn thing. I uploaded a few screenshots this morning, but when I saw that the screens were twice the size of the actual client, I just couldn’t see the point. You can connect and play with your whole crew until E3 is over, and I really suggest you do.
i can’t control my brain