So a few nights ago I was up with the baby and he was sort of wheezing and breathing really fast. Obviously this concerned me so I turned to the internet for answers. First of all let me say that there is no place online for young/new fathers to discuss the rigors of parenthood and share advice. If I got off on sticking my dick in sour cream while watching the History channel, I could find a hundred different forums full of like minded individuals. There are plenty of forums for dads but they are either empty or full of old men who dish out advice like “put in more time at work.” and “Start drinking.”
When I couldn’t find the information I needed from my peers I decided to hit up the medical sites. I typed in a few of his symptoms on a baby check up site and clicked next. The screen then displayed giant bold red text that read:
YOUR BABY HAS A SERIOUS BREATHING CONDITION! GO TO THE HOSPITAL IMMEDIATLEY!
Well shit! So at 2:00 am I bolt into the bedroom and start looking for some pants. I don’t care how sick your baby is, you can’t go to the hospital without pants. At this point Kara wakes up and asks what the hell I’m doing. I explain that our baby is dying and I’m rushing him to the emergency room just as soon as I can find my Goddamned pants. She picks him up and asks if I’m talking about the wheezing. “Of course I’m talking about the wheezing, he’s probably got a pair of collapsed lungs!” She pulls out what looks like a baby turkey baster and sticks it up his nose. She spends a few seconds sucking guck out and then returns him to his crib. I stare in awe as he lays there breathing clearly for a minute and then falls off to sleep. “He had some snot in there” she explains. Then she rolls over and goes back to sleep. I stand there in the middle of the room, still pants less and silently curse the internet.
The Childs Play site received a much needed re-design from a very talented fan. The new page also has a section for people looking to help spread the word about the charity. You can download flyers and banners in all kinds of different sizes. We’re working on implementing a system that would keep a running tally of the total money donated in cash and toys for each Hospital. I know many of you have no particular preference on which hospital you donate to and you would like to make sure your contribution goes to the one that needs it most. That is a feature we should have on the site soon.
A few people have asked to see a larger version of the new Guild Wars ad I drew. So here you go.