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Tycho / on Mon, Jun 11 2012 at 12:01 am

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All Those Who Say Neigh

Still just generally sort of taken aback by the level of sophistication Ubisoft is bringing to their WiiU launch titles.  It’s not that I expect garbage from them or something, it’s that almost as a rule Nintendo has to lead people around by the hand on their recent hardware, especially at launch.  Even now, nearing the end of its run, there are games released for the Wii where you just do crazy shit with the controller and go wild.  Rules are tempered by their exceptions, I suppose.

Jamie ran a hell of an event last Friday, with the Child’s Play and the Golf; I made friends last year I’ve kept in contact with, and picked up a new crop this time around.  Scramble, the ruleset for cooperative golf, even inspired me to try my hand at it.  Everyone plays from the best of each round of shots, so there’s an intoxicating strategic aspect: you can afford to play a safe shot, and then run a few experiments.  The reality is that even if I am very, very bad at golf, and this is demonstrably true, if everyone else puts their ball in the literally rattlesnake infested weeds, I can hit it ten yards off the tee and save their lives on more than one axis.  That’s pretty strong ROI.

I bought movie tickets on my phone in the morning for Prometheus, which I have chosen to pronounce “promepheus,” and marinated all day in my premeptive, wholly unwarranted enthusiasm for it.  Worried we may not be able to secure contiguous seats on the day of its release, we left an seventy-five minutes in advance.  And we needed every minute, because reality began to unweave itself as we approached the theater.  For example, did you know that there were two AMC theaters, right across the street from each other, except that one was not in a mall but in a kind of outdoor “bazaar”?  And did you know that you can enter the elevator to go to the correct floor, ride up two levels, and them come out on the level you went in on?!  This was a real surprise.  Oh, and there were only like seven people in the theater!  I don’t know why, but those nonexistent viewers had the right idea.

If I tell you that it is bad, which is something I genuinely believe, it will inoculate you against it; no matter how bad it might be, it won’t be as bad as I said it was, and your moviegoing experience will be improved.  I’m only too happy to provide this service, as someone should be able to enjoy this movie, even if it’s only as a result of these quantum-cinematic abstractions.  Gabriel and I tried to figure it out most of the flight home, only to realize that even if it we did figure it out, what would we have then?  Sometimes you get to The Emerald City, like, all the way there, but it is only a Sizzler someone has painted green.

(CW)TB out.

you’re in my way

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