I saw He-Man shit at other kids' houses, but like a lot of the eighties it simply wasn't allowed in my house. Even The Smurfs were considered a monstrous affront - not only the sorcerer Gargamel, but the "demonic" Smurfs used magic as well! My mother had a book called Turmoil In The Toybox which she used as a kind cultural baleen to winnow the (sacred) wheat from the (profane) chaff, because sometimes you gotta look really really hard at toys in order to figure out why they're bad and that's why it's somebody's full-time job. You might think My Little Pony is about horse dolls, but what these wanton mares actually do is seize daughters nationwide and corrupt them into hellbound sluts.
