I got an incredible email today from a Penny Arcade reader. Dave shared with me an email chain between him and Ocean Marketing (the folks behind the Avenger controller) Trust me when I tell you that this is one wild ride. I'm serious, Mr. Toad would look at this ride and just give a slow clap while shaking his head. I have tried to arrange this as best I can in chronological order. I've also removed email addresses and other private information. So let's just jump right in, here is Dave's first mail to Ocean Marketing:

It's the most wonderful time of the year! That's right, I'm talking about

This week, on a very special Penny Arcade TV...

I wore the only sweats I had one day, ancient sweats, because I had to go to the gym and be debased by a man I'm ostensibly paying to improve me. Their coating of wholly undefined materials in the "cream" color spectrum brought me no end of abuse at work, which lead to today's strip. It's here, and that's how we're kicking off...

I quit playing the Star Wars Beta months ago because I didn’t want to spoil the game for myself. I think that statement alone says a lot about the sort of MMO Star Wars is. Now that the game has launched Kara and I have jumped back in and we’re having a great time. We have not experienced any of the long queue times or crazy lag that so many people seem to be complaining about. I understand that there are plenty of people having technical issues with the game but I can’t speak to that.

The TRIUMPHANT RETURN! etc.

These people are catching whatever you have and they are getting SICK. You are catalyzing the end Goddamn times!

you don't even love Jesus!

THAT IS ALL.

Looking over these Dickerdoodle submissions I have to say that you guys are some of the most offensive monsters I have ever seen. I love this kind of stuff but I am constantly amazed at how many of you share my love of the "wrong". You're like my own perverted version of Dumbledore's army.

Tonight at midnight is the deadline for the free-upgrade promo going on in our store. If you live inside the US and choose parcel post or first class as your shipping option between right now and midnight tonight, we’ll upgrade you to priority mail for free and it will get to you before Christmas.

Today's strip comes to us by way of Chuck Wojtkiewicz and Rocky Vanoost of Blur Studio, which is one of the most "hidden in plain sight" entities in existence. Any incredible game trailer you could care to name was probably done at Blur Studio, including that incredible Star Wars: The Old Republic one that launched a thousand pre-orders. They're game trailers that could make you believe in Star Wars again, which is something of a feat at this late hour.

The second of three Industrial offerings summoned by my cohort had arrived, this time from Cryptozoic. If you aren't already familiar with them, either via their incredible World of Warcraft TCG or Food Fight or their deckbuilding take on Penny Arcade, you'll probably come around for their Walking Dead shit or their (ahem) "EPIC SPELL WARS OF THE BATTLE WIZARDS: DUEL AT MT. SKULLZFYRE."

1. Today is the last day for free shipping. The last day, God damn you!

The first of three outsourced strips arrives today, courtesy of longtime friend of the site John Scalzi. When I say longtime friend, what I mean is that he gave us money at one point, which is the most direct route.

It's true. Gabriel has ensconced his family in flying steel and launched himself toward warmer climes, and he has left the rudder in my capable grip. In reality, a series of guest works from a rotating cast of professionals was his own idea. The conversation, though, is quite true. I don't know to what extent he is joking, I suspect it is at a threshold nearing a hundred percent, even though what I do here is essentially a condiment for his own work. My own son looks at me askance when I tell him writing is art, at which point his uncle Gabriel does his emperor laugh and swirls his cape.