Not Match

I'd had an inkling for a while, just a little itch in my brainstem, but now it's reached some kind of primal vibration that demands release. I'm feeling very confident , more confident than ever, that Nintendo is going to make another console. I know it rings harsh, like the echo of a mad prophecy. But we're closer than ever, and you can't disagree with that really, because that's just how time works. We've never been more near. I feel its cold shadow.

These skins are utterly out of control - they're unbridled eroticism, except for the range of tantalizing Equestrian themed outfits, where bridles are somehow worked into the twisted proceedings themselves. These perverts at NetEase would see every day devoted to humping if they could, stripping Wednesday of its traditional remit.

I feel like this gets all the ideas about a Helldivers movie together in once place.

Well, he did it:

After much deliberation and discussion with my family, I decided to purchase a finger skateboard.

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— Gabe (@cwgabriel.bsky.social) January 2, 2025 at 1:39 PM

Mork had told me about Facebook or Meta or Whoever The Fuck talking about generating AI users from whole cloth and stuffing their services with them. The quote in the strip is direct, but we have provided a lightly translated option also.

After taking a break for December I am back doing monthly commissions again. I have opened up my first four slots of 2025 this morning. If you would like to get a drawing from me now is your chance! Check out my Atristree page for all the details and to send a request. Please give me all the info you can and be sure to specify if you would like a background or no background. These pieces will be finished by the end of the month. I am happy to draw original characters or anything from games,movies or comics just give me the details! 

-Gabe Out

Happy New Year nerds! After taking a break for December I will be getting back to doing monthly commissions. I plan on opening up four slots on my Atristree page for January this coming Friday morning. Between PAX Unplugged and the holidays I just didn’t feel like I had time for commissions in December.  I really enjoy doing them though and I’m excited to get back to it this month. If you grab one of the four slots on Friday I’ll work with you to draw whatever character you like be it from comics,games, movies or something from D&D or any other RPG. I’ve drawn family pets, original characters, Marvel heroes and even redrew a classic Penny Arcade strip at someone's request. You’ll get the final piece around the end of the month including high res files suitable for printing. So if you’d like to get a custom piece from me, keep an eye on the site Friday morning or just watch my Atristree page for the slots to open up on the 3rd. Thanks!

-Gabe Out

It's not a hundred percent clear what ills Gabriel is looking to secure, or at least tamp down, but we do have to respect that he's willing to invest in unorthodox techniques to manage them. We are all subject to pique, maladies of the body and mind, terrors of all stripes. To find a panacea for that which Scourges Man is a noble effort - a boon to the finder, but a treasury to our extended human family as well. I wish him every success.

Marvel Rivals has taken over fully now as the Snack Game. For a while I was playing it exclusively with other people, it was a Hang Out Game, but Quick Matches just don't take very long and they can fit in anywhere. It's also an opportunity for others, our erstwhile allies, to learn remedial hero shooter skills at our expense!

James Gunn has made lots of movies that I like, and he even made a teevee show called Peacemaker that I like, and part of the reason I like it when he gets his filthy mitts all over this comic stuff is that he understands that comics are kind of dumb. If the hairs on your neck are standing up, let me gently pat them back down. I don't mean that they're not worthwhile. I mean that people get bit by spiders and get spider powers. Because anything can happen, some of the things that do happen are silly. But that flexibility means that anything can happen. He is somebody who will take swings.  He made Rocket Raccoon work! And now I gotta deal with that shit every day in Rivals.

Young women today don't have to choose, as their foremothers did. They don't have to be pigeonholed into the staid and static roles they've always had to select from, either candle maker or Hive Matriarch. They can be both. I think. I don't really know, I guess. Isn't a hive basically just a big candle you never light? That seems reasonable to me.

Far be it from me to shame and goad you for how you invest your time, even if I do that explicitly, over and over, in today's incomparable strip. You only have so much time crawling the rough skin of the Earth - if you want to invest that time contemplating the human bottom, you do you. Broadly speaking, it has been a site of continued and devoted interest. G'on get it.

A combination of a very strong army choice, great rules, and a warrior's spirit has continued to see Gabriel's youngest terrorize the game table at home - sowing discord in the family unit. Not really! Gabriel is certainly more competitive than me, but being defeated by your child at something still feels like winning to a somewhat integrated person. That said, I would never undertake the actions seen here in a million years. For one, it would be like gettin' the whippin' switch. For two, that ain't my kid. That would be like getting beat by a literal fucking baby.

The squad is essentially splitting time between Rainbow Six and Marvel Rivals now, and because they do something almost completely different you can "hold space" for them, as they say. If Marvels was a bit more constrained, or if R6 were a little less… whatever it is, maybe they would start bleeding into each other. In a round of Rainbow, for example, we probably won't be erased from reality by Scarlet Witch's "Reality Erasure" ult. You know? It helps you compartmentalize. If you're at the store, and you hear the bark for this ultimate? Don't shop at that store anymore.

It is no longer safe.

I'm not here to hold forth on the ethics around being high on goofballs. There are those who seek refuge in the goofball, and find comfort there. Or, maybe you are coming out onto the stage at a videogame awards thing and you goofed three or four balls right before you got out - their spent husks tossed hither and yon. The VGAs are a little more lo-fi than the sorts of things he typically goes to, and that might provide some license. It's also possible he's just a huge fan of Critical Role or something but also wanted a little carcinization, as a treat.

Those of you who grew up with The Bible will recognize instantly the opportunity Marvel Rivals grants the player - the opportunity to meditate on mortality itself while spending time inside of a fish. I didn't understand before that I craved this state, a fishy state, where the cares of the world disappear beyond a wall of cool meat.