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SEGA!

By Gabe – March 9, 2002

The Sega ads are now working correctly. Please feel free to interact with them in a clicking oriented fashion. If you’re hungry for more information about this whole free SegaNet deal give this page a look. It breaks it all down and gives you links to all the important stuff. As Tycho mentioned before we plan on playing PSO all day on the 16th and 17th. As it gets closer we will put up some more information about how to hook up with us.

A Brief Addendum.

By Tycho – March 8, 2002

Astute readers are quite correct - Battlezone (and its sequel, Battlezone 2) do many of the things we discussed today - and then they disappeared completely. Not just the games, now. Like the bold strokes of Allegiance, their advances - and indeed, the germ of some new genre - vanished entirely. None of the games I've mentioned sold well, so while it is unfortunate, it's also easy to understand why these concepts never took root. But a vigorous design - gleefully deep, immediately accessible, and marshalling the true vigor of the C&C license - I'm naive enough to hope things would be different.

Damn Gromps keep eating my Doops!

By Gabe – March 8, 2002

I could probably talk for a long time right now about Herdy Gerdy. I know I like it…I think I may love it. It is a game of extremes. It's amazing to see a game go from moments of absolute genius to scenes of un-paralleled stupidity. However since I have not done a review in a while I think I'll save my thoughts on Herdy Gerdy and actually right a full review of it. I am gonna try and burn through it this weekend and see if I can't have something up for Monday. I keep thinking there is someone else I know playing this game right now as well, but I honestly can't remember his name.

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I say!

By Tycho – March 8, 2002

It's been said that Fatal Frame is a Next-Generation homage to the N64's classic "Resident Evil: Snap," but it's hard to say.

Das Oldskoolen, Part 2

By Tycho – March 8, 2002

Fortified by healthful bran, we appear to have defeated proud Continuity, who is our eternal foe. I give you Das Oldskoolen, Part 2 - the second (and blissfully final!) portion of our gripping whooziwhatsit. Mordo - though an excellent name for villains of any stripe - is especially apt, "Mordo" being our crew's omnipotent nemesis on "Lipton," the Medal of Honor server we frequent. Frequented, perhaps I should say. I find the addition of Crow King's Realism Mod roughly as appetizing as a public urinal coated with pubic hair.

Two parts zombie, One part shot gun.

By Gabe – March 6, 2002

Let me tell you how easy it is to make a great videogame. First you need a bunch of zombies. Then you need a ton of great weapons like shotguns and cross bows. Then add a pinch of four player cooperative play. That my friends is a fucking recipe for success. Gamespy has delivered a very complete preview of Hunter: The Reckoning. Now I know what you're thinking. "But Gabe, that is an Xbox title! I heard it gives you a terrible itchy rash all over your body if you just look at it!" That may very well be true but this is the game I want to play. Sega won't step up to the plate and deliver a Zombie Revenge 2 so I have to get my un-dead fix someplace else. Between Star Wars and Zombies it looks like the Xbox has me by the balls.

Das Oldskoolen, Part 1

By Tycho – March 6, 2002

Two things to keep in mind when sampling today's product: one, I love Warlords. It's got these cool castles, and you have to kind of bounce these things. Two: due to lack of sleep, poor diet, or some commingling of the two, dreaded Continuity has us at a disadvantage. We will do our best to cast off its deleterious effects by Friday - but we promise nothing!

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(sigh)

By Tycho – March 4, 2002

(Longer, deeper sigh.)

like stuff should be like totally free man!

By Gabe – March 4, 2002

I would say that I get around 10 or so requests each week to sign some wacky petition. I have never signed a single one. I especially wasn't about to sign a petition asking me to boycott fucking Blizzard. I mean what the hell? They have delivered some of the finest gaming experiences since the mid nineties and you want me to boycott them because they are making an effort to protect their copyrighted material? I know some people out there are gonna use the product for legitimate purposes. But the majority of people are going to use the thing to play pirated software. I don't care if they did ask Blizzard to allow them to implement CD key checks. Blizzard doesn't want them making the product period, and that is their right. I read all the posts on Slashdot talking about the purity of code and how information should be free. I have a message for all these hacky sack playing Volkswagen owners. They can read it on their Apple iBook's brilliant 14.1-inch TFT XGA active-matrix display. "Fuck you hippy, get a haircut!" In all their frenzy they seem to have forgotten something most of us learn when we are old enough to walk. You shouldn't steal. Sure shit should be free, I agree one hundred percent. But what if it's your shit? It's a fantastic idea until people start taking your work. I can't count the number of times I have seen my artwork in other people's galleries or posted in forums with their fucking name at the bottom. People get this bug up their ass about how the internet is for the free trading of information and it's all just code man. That's bullshit. My creative work is not free information. I salute Blizzard for what they did. You need to go after these fucking people whenever and wherever you can. I'm glad they sent a cease and desist letter. Hell if it was me, I woulda sent the letter and man over to their house to punch them all in the dick.

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Please, Call Me Kotor

By Tycho – March 1, 2002

Today's comic touches on Knights of the Old Republic, and the recent decision to (exclusively!) release first to the Xbox while PC users grouse and sweat chicken fat. I've told him, Gabe, we - collectively - have an Xbox. We have one. He can play it the day it comes out, he can even keep the thing at his house if he wants to - but he says it's the principle. And I said, "Well, you got a Genesis for Mortal Kombat, right? Isn't this cooler than Mortal Kombat?" And then we're back to the principle thing. I know how he feels, as I used to feel much the same way. It was only Sega's Shenmue 2 (and the possibility of 3, etc.) that dragged me kicking onto this very large path, and that was so long ago that I hardly remember being angry. I mean, I used to think of it as the Dark Side, and sometimes it's Darkish I suppose, but most of the time it's a nice mauve. Join usss! Of course, we can be certain that he'll be by later today, just in case I need him to mutilate the true facts of our conversation.

Obscure References Week Cont.

By Tycho – February 27, 2002

This week is rapidly devolving into a cavalcade of Obscure PA references. We've got Monday's adventure, where the watch that was stolen and then returned is once again in enemy hands. Today's offering is perhaps less hidden than the one before it. For a couple guys who purport to loathe the undead, we can't seem to get enough: Don't Say It!, Z Is For Zombie, The Rain, and Auditions Of The Damned are just a sampling of our paranormal encounters.

i have been placed on the bit

Last week Nintendo was kind enough to release two (2) screen shots for a few of its big titles this summer. These are some of the most highly anticipated games ever and we don't know a damn thing about them. Meanwhile every game that falls out of the X-Box's ass gets at least 50 shots and a two page "hands on impressions" write up. Why Nintendo? I understand that you don't want to flood the market with screen shots, that you want to keep some surprise but there has got to be some middle ground here. I want desperately to know more about Mario Sunshine. The little bits I hear about deforming levels and giant blobs of paint intrigue the hell out of me. I want to see more of the outer space shit is Star Fox Adventures. Show me some screens of Metroid that are actually interesting to look at. Give me the scoop on Eternal Darkness, I gotta know why that dude in the trailer is such a wack-job. What are you doing Nintendo? You've got me chomping at the fucking bit here…oh wait…I see. Well played Nintendo…Well played indeed.