I have used this space on countless occasions to express my opinions about Star Wars games. I have sent e-mails to Lucas Arts time and time again detailing my ideas for new games. For my efforts I have received letters from Lucas Arts legal department asking that I not send anymore unsolicited creative ideas. I have talked to many of the actual people who develop the Star Wars games that you and I play. While it’s true that they are extremely friendly people they politely switch subjects when the conversation turns to my own game ideas. This has led me to the conclusion that I need to be employed at Lucas Arts in order to see my dreams become a reality. And so with that in mind I give you…my resume:
Employment with Lucas Arts Entertainment for the purpose of creating a video game based on the New Jedi Order novels.
-Online cartoonist and internet asshole. Nov. 1998-Current
-I went to high school and got pretty good grades.
Skills I Don’t Have:
-Any professional experience working as a 3D modeler in computer gaming.
-Strong technical aptitude related to 3D modeling tools and game engine technologies.
-Complete command of Maya’s modeling and texturing tools.
-Ability to work with a high degree of self-direction
-Excellent organizational, communication and interpersonal skills.
-Receptiveness to art direction and the ability to perform well within a collaborative team environment.
-Responsiveness to deadlines and ability to work well under pressure.
-Willingness to work overtime when necessary.
-I was born in 1977, the same year Star Wars was released into theatres.
-As a child I owned the Darth Vader head carrying case for my Star Wars action figures.
-I have seen both Ewok movies.
-My favorite Star Wars movie is Empire, this proves I am a true fan. As does the fact that I refer to it as “Empire” as opposed to its full name, the Empire Strikes Back.
-I know who Jagged Fel and Kyp Durron are and why they kick so much ass.
-I cried like a baby when *** Spoiler Removed *** Died in the book Star by Star.
-I know about the part in Return of the Jedi where you can see the Twi’lek dancers boob for just a second.
If that doesn’t get me a job at Lucas Arts I honestly don’t know what could.