The real misery of the situation is that it’s too late to do anything about it.
Like Saruman the White, we have spies of all breeds that ever comb the web. They reveal to us plots and so forth, heresies, such as PacMan losing out to Scorpion - by which I mean “Get Over Here” Scorpion - in the GameFAQs Character Battle. Gabe was implacable, but those parts of his brain not entirely dedicated to constructing a fifteen minute chain of unbroken profanity had a plan. That plan was to put you on the yoke and, with fiery proclamations on the subject, goad you thusly to the ballot box. With Scorpion’s ten-thousand vote victory, even if we had used our powers for evil, we couldn’t have trumped it. And really, now that I think about it, out of those two contestants it’s easy to see whose favor you’d rather curry. I mean PacMan, he’s basically just hungry, right? He’s hungry and yellow. On the other hand, Scorpion can punch your whole skeleton out of your body. So, that’s an angle I hadn’t considered before. Unless you’re a ghost, PacMan doesn’t really have shit. And even that has qualifications!
My last post was not especially meaty, I recognize this, but in my defense let me say that I am completely psychotic. I kept picturing everyone reading the things I wrote as I was writing them. I’m usually fairly picky about it anyway, and a choir of imaginary critics wasn’t helping shit.
I’ve had a few people ask what I’m playing at the moment, because my posts have been largely concerned with other things. I’m only too happy to tell you.
I play the Battlefield 1942 demo whenever I can fit in a round or two. It’s kind of a pain in the ass, actually - does the demo server automatically boot up Password Protected or something? I’ve never seen so many private servers for a demo in my life. Anyway, yeah - it’s great. I knew that already, but I can’t tell you how.
The Army Game might have gotten off to a rough start, but if you haven’t been back in on account of that I’d encourage you to grab the latest release. I think that in the earliest training portions, they were delivering a legitimate but sort of staid experience, without some of the color I know such training entails. I’ve had friends that served, and the stories they tell about their instructors - alternately warm human beings and vicious meat grinders - are memorable and remarkable. I think that the more training elements the Army: Operations team does, the more comfortable they get with the medium - and I think the Airborne stuff in the yesterday’s release is evidence of that. Maps that drop in one or both teams by parachute are going to be fascinating. Also! Jumping out of airplanes is very dangerous, if this demo is to be believed. I had a feeling this was the case.
I’ve also been up to my ass in HBO DVDs lately, it’s an obsession that is eclipsing my life. See, I can never bring myself to pay for the Ultra Supreme Cable with all the channels, but now I see that the stuff I really want to watch is all on channels past twenty. I consumed the entirety of of Oz in three days, I would have done it sooner but I had to keep going back to the video store. I liked it, but only one season is out now. I have it even worse for The Sopranos. I think that Mob Movies are, as a rule, just better than other kinds of movie. The reason for this is simple: They’re full of dynamic, creative characters that take real pleasure in their work. No weapons handy in the hotel lobby? Hit a man’s head with the courtesy bell over and over, and a pleasant “ding” sound will accompany each blow. All he has is a Yo-Yo? Wrap it around his neck, and give him a little Chokie Roberts. They improvise! And I respect that. Of course, this show is from forever ago so most of you probably know this already, but I deeply envy a person who hasn’t seen it yet. People seem really conflicted about the Third Season for whatever reason, but I’m still three DVDs away from that so it’s not something I worry about a lot. What freedom there must be, writing a series for a pay channel - no commercials, less stringent controls, you occupy an interesting place between series and film that must be a joy to operate in.
I’ve got some screenshots of Treasure Planet: Battle at Procyon, the first in a series of articles from a designer on Homeworld2, not to mention the write-up of my visit to Flying Lab, the creators of upcoming strategy game Delta Green. I’m just saying, if this was the week you were going to stop reading Penny Arcade, I’d make it the week after next.
with her name still on it