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Tycho / on Wed, Nov 13 2002 at 7:26 am

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We made a new comic for you.

I don’t know if talking about the Metroids Prime and Fusion is polite, seeing as we have them before the release date, and you aren’t due to get them for another four days or so.  On the other hand, I really can’t think about anything else but those games. 

Nintendo has a “company store” you can sometimes buy things at early, and if you know somebody who works there it’s not that hard to leverage it.  I’m under the impression it happens a lot.  As a side-note, the people we know at Nintendo are feverishly loyal.  I mean this in comparison to the guys I know at Microsoft.  Seriously.  All you have to do is scratch their belly a little bit, and they’re on that backs, kicking their legs, shouting the names of top secret games so loud it hurts your ears.  A lot of times I’ll grill our guys at the big N for information, or I’ll pretend I have information and try to get them to confirm it, and it never works out.

So, what are you working on now?  That new multiplayer Metroid?  Or is it the Pokemon?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Under very specific conditions, I’m actually sort of famous.  Doesn’t that make you want to tell me things?

“I don’t think we have any projects like that, I’m sorry.”

Then I’ll just kind of smile and nod my head slowly, as though in possession of secret, forbidden knowledge, which I conceptualize as a green jewel.  They’ll just look confused and shake their heads the other way.  Sometimes I’ll try to trip them up by shaking my head and frowning, and then switching right back, but these are guys are on some serious KGB shit or something and they’re not having it.  Anyway, it’s this guy that let us in and it’s not the first time.  We owe him. 

Metroid Prime is Metroid in 3D, and I’m not fucking with you.  It is not a game that merely capitalizes on the Metroid franchise - as with Mario and Zelda, this two dimensional game has traversed that tricky membrane between dimensions with aplomb.  The primary themes of this series, as I see them, are exploration (self-explanatory) and longing (for items and places just out of reach).  They are just as compelling now as they ever were. 

Gabe popped in after he’d played it for a few hours with complaints about the controls.  You’ll note that he popped in again not long after to say that it just doesn’t matter, and he’s right.  It will become apparent what he means when you play it, he believes that locking on should work differently and I won’t argue with that.  It’s just that the game is perfect, I mean it, it’s amazing, so it’s like, would changing this control thing make it perfect-er?  In the face of a game this polished in virtually every respect, I think it’s important to note the dissatisfaction, but lingering on it would be petty. 

You will thrill with delight upon regaining your trusted weapons and abilities, in addition to new suits which look beyond rad.  Though the game is played from a first person perspective, you see Samus quite a bit actually - in transition scenes, switching to the Morph Ball, you see her all the time - and she’s awesome.  She’s a bona fide bad-ass - she doesn’t call her mom, and she doesn’t apologize for shit.  If you’re a Space Pirate or whatever, just get the fuck out.  I don’t want to tell you anything outside of go get it the moment you can.  I don’t want to ruin anything.   

And Metroid Fusion?  Jesus.  It is like they made the sequel to Super Metroid back on the SNES, put it in a time capsule with Ace of Base single “The Sign”, and said “Do Not Open Until 2002.”  It will be such a comfort to you as a fan of the series that I’m happy just knowing it’s real.

If you’ve never played Metroid games, it’s best to think of them as a Sci-Fi Castlevania.  If you haven’t played Castlevania either, I mean…  Did you come here by mistake? 

Just two more days until the WAN Party gets underway, and if it’s anything like the last one I’ll be stumbling around the house by the end of it.  I’ll probably just leave a post up on Saturday with the password and a few server addresses.  CDV and Reakktor gave us a few more copies of Neocron to give out, so in some cases I sent an extra one and others I shipped one to somebody new.  Regardless, they’re out, and you should have them in time to get down this weekend.  Or after, if you like it.  What you do on your own time is your business.     

(CW)TB out.

don’t throw rocks at the throne

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