True Halowood Stories
You might have heard the
lies promulgated by the scalawags at
Bungie.net regarding our epic matchup
on Wednesday. Today, I break my one day silence. Today, I speak
truth - yes, the truth! That truth which is so abhorrent to our
Actually, the truth is that they devoured us. It was like when a pack of wild savannah dogs, mad with lust for blood and protein, fling parts of a carcass into the air and another one catches it in its teeth. We would come to find out that they were passing the controllers between one another each round, audibly chortling, exultant like children repeatedly striking a pinata. We didn’t expect to do well, as I suggested before - but the brutal savagery of the defeat left a deep impression. There was something complete and just and final about their victory. It was a natural outcome, seemingly rooted in physical laws, so that when the grim and grinding event reached its completion there was no way to controvert it. When the universe authors your demise, you have no recourse. There is no means by which you can countermand that bleak grammar.
After the flogging was complete, I suggested that we were well and truly even for any past transgressions. They suggested that this was the case. So then we made today’s comic, which will - I believe - reveal even richer veins of social discomfort.
So, the gauntlet of a high-technology stealthsuit studded with light sensors has been thrown - we challenged them to a round of Splinter Cell, honor demands it, and I understand the tussle will go down next week. Last I heard, they were going to get their devious allies the Frag Dolls to play for them. We are unphased! You can field two androids designed expressly for this purpose, as far as we’re concerned. You can field Hulk Hogan and Our Lord Jesus Christ.
We will leave nothing but bones.
taken broken up to the mountain