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Tycho / on Wed, Nov 19 2014 at 10:37 am

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Helm’s Deep

He’s playing Dragon Age!

When I advocate here in this realm, in this blue place, I am mostly trying to convince my compatriot.  I am glad you are here and I hope that you find it of use.  But I find that I can cobble together some fairly elaborate persuasion if I think he is the target.  Right?  It’s like when Goku was gravity training.  Sort of.  If I can make that case to him, I can make it to anybody.

Sometimes I will say that he wouldn’t like something when it is amazing and I secretly want him to like it the most.  It’s way more fun to discover something yourself, you want ownership over this kind of stuff.  And I don’t want it to seem like a victory or something to lord over him, or whatever.  But it’s a victory, and I won!  No, not really.  But yes!

Anyway, the hat problem he has - and the problem you might have also - can be trivially resolved!  Go into Options, click on Interface, find the thing that looks like this:

And make it look like this!

Let us never speak of it again.  It won’t fix the problem where you accidentally flirt with someone and then they legitimately flirt back, something which also happens in real life.  I definitely don’t want to have sex with a minotaur, though.  That’s not one of my things.  Now I gotta adventure with this dude and shit’s gonna be all weird.  Am I right, ladies?!

We popped in the new Far Cry yesterday, just to see, and it quickly attracted a crowd.  Every Far Cry now apparently has to have a weirdly charismatic foe, and the new one got ‘em going; “open world” games offer unparalleled entertainment for the spectator.  In fact, I think a Spectator might even be required.  It’s something to do with the way eyes work, and feel free to test this assertion at your own house: people who are not being mauled by carnivores have a much easier time catching the twinkle of a partially hidden cache.  The game provided one of the best gaming “minutes” of the year already, though: we saw a little rustle in the brush, and a little creature shuffled out, except it was a honey badger or some shit and it tried to kill us.  Eventually we had it by the scruff of the neck, saying unto to him, “WHAT IS YOUR DEAL,” and by the time we’d thrown him back to the ground a hawk started raking our scalp so we stole a four wheeler and in our attempt to escape these beasts drove it straight off a cliff.

I laughed so hard that I stopped receiving oxygen and my vision became splotchy.  But I’d also seen enough of their environment to be really convinced by it, to the extent that I wondered what an RPG of the Bethesda variety would look like in it.  I didn’t wonder about it very long, though, because Far Cry is an RPG.  They already did what I was thinking about, they just made an RPG with all the trappings of a mainstream genre that people buy in droves.  This is a game where you earn XP and craft better wallets.  The fact that you’re holding a gun as opposed to a wand is something for the sages to mull over.

Meth is supposed to be super bad for you, that’s what I read, but I think if I were up for a week straight I could deal with these muhfuckin’ Dragon Age rifts on the double.  I could even start on Far Cry myself; perhaps I could secure chrome sufficient to help my friends crack camps in co-op.  I’m gonna see how many meths you need for that.  Like, how many individual meths.

(CW)TB out.


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