Join Club PA


Tycho / on Fri, Nov 21 2014 at 10:28 am

Read Comic

Small Packages

There is a very fixed menu of ingredients at Taco Bell; it can be conceived of as an alternative to the standard Periodic Table, whose quasi-edible permutations constitute a distinct flavorverse.  Far Cry 4 has a similar catalog of “elements,” like Honey Badger, Falcon, Tuk-Tuk, Assault Rifle, Boar, and so on.  (I would consider AK-47 an isotope of Assault Rifle).  After the latest of Gabriel’s misadventures, it became clear that he was basically dipping a ladle in that soup of possible events and coming up with treachery every time.  He was, in effect, panning for devastation.  And the creatures of that place responded in kind.

I haven’t talked about the Master Chief Collection here because I have a) been playing other games to completion and b) because I can’t really play it.  Not because I don’t want to, but because it apparently doesn’t want me to.

As a means of instructing the next generation, like in the case of Gabriel (I refer here, to both Gabriels; I refer to the Gabriel Continuum) it must be considered an unmatched offering.  Young people have no problem with the graphics in Minecraft, where each “pixel” of that world is a gigantic chunk the size of a safe you can break off and then relentlessly combinate.  But if a game is not explicitly made from what look to be 16-bit era pixel art or the aforementioned cubes, it needs to be essentially photorealistic or it is “full of fail.”  Remasters of the first two games coupled with uprezzed latter episodes help bridge the gap for would be educators.  That part is all well and good and I understand it can be absorbed at the proper rate.

For me, there has always been something goofed about Halo Multiplayer, in that the most revelatory mode to me - what is generally termed Big Team Battle - barely worked most of the time.  You’d get good games here and there, and when you found them, you tried to stick around.  Dedicated servers for this mode were always the fantasy.  I feel confident that I advocated for deddis as a definitional feature of Xbox Live even back then, before the Azure platform which has kinda sorta made that a reality for some games.  So a 1080p, 60 frame version of the game with the server handled elsewhere is like a prophecy come to life.  Last night, it couldn’t even get some kind of matchmaking data to start searching for a game.  I let it go for awhile, put the kids to bed, and when I came back it was still there.  It was patting the pockets of its coat and slacks, like a man with Alzheimer’s searching for a wallet he has never owned.

Like with Unity, I can’t really bring myself to be angry about it.  It wouldn’t make me angry if someone else were angry, that’s legit.  For my part, I’m genuinely confused about why they would do this to customers.  These are flagship titles, and these issues are completely avoidable.  They have brought me to a juncture where I feel compelled to use my Dad voice; I don’t want an apology.  I want you to be better.

(CW)TB out.


Club PA - Powered by Patreon

  • Exclusive Podcasts
    & Streams
  • A Club PA
    Pinny Arcade Pin
  • Store Discounts
    & Exclusive Merch
  • Exclusive Comics
    & Art

Join!


Follow Penny Arcade