The Lying Game
I talked about some of this stuff a couple weeks ago I think, this Jackbox Party Pack stuff, but I’ve run a couple experiments in the meantime and it’s only cemented the necessity of owning this game. Oh! And Gabriel is bad.
Initially I was intimidated by the guy across the street pretty severely. Whenever I looked out the window, he was always attaching the winchy part of his gigantic truck to an old stump. I mean, I suppose technically he could only have removed this stump once. But it seemed like he was always engaged in some iconic act of masculinity that occurred within a certain radius of a winch. But then our kids started going to the same school, and we were made to interact in a normal way. I couldn’t just lean meaningfully against an axe handle in conspicuous view of his living room.
I have a specific type. Well, types. Here are my types. Where do you fit in this list? If you see me at PAX South, we can discuss some of the recent vacancies in my inner circle.
- Laconic, Solitary Psychic Lighthouses
- Facsimiles Of Men And Women (Ruined Within)
- Emotional Black Holes
- The Perpetually Unsatisfied
So when I’m talking to him, and he’s okay with pretty much everything that’s happening, I’m worried that being in my dark nimbus will corrupt him somehow. I’m worried that I’ll hurt one of his beautiful wings. I don’t even want to swear around him; I would cup my hands over his ears, but I don’t want to disturb any of his soft petals. I think he might be America’s last strategic optimism reserve.
He’s been part of both tests I’ve done of FibbageXL thus far. FibbageXL is the version of Fibbage that comes with all the other games in the compilation, and has more questions, but that’s it. I say “tests” or “experiments” because I’m specifically rounding up people who don’t play games like this, or played games “when they were kids.” They’re fucking transformed by it, one hundred percent of the time, and want to know what they need to buy so they can have it all the time. The game itself is a rock-solid digital send-up of some table classics, I vouch for the superstructure. But I think the genius of using people’s phones “democratizes,” for lack of a better word, a fairly sophisticated trivia format. There are many, many people statistically contained within the word “gamer” now that play exclusively on phones. Except now I’ve got six of these people playing a game on the Xbox One and they don’t even know. They don’t have to know.
Anyway. This dude, this fractal seed of purity? He has got to be the best, most potent liar to ever lie.
It should alert the fucking government when somebody makes this many points off lies. Men should drop from helicopters, grab them, and then go back up. The only comfort we can take is that it would never occur to him to use this power for evil; I think that if he tried to lie, the world would somehow conspire to make it true.