Are you still playing card games by placing your cards directly on the table like some kind of Goddamned animal? Well fucking stop it.
For the last twentyfive years we here at Penny Arcade have been working closely with the scientists at TechYarn™ to develop the ultimate amusement substrates. These firm yet pliable play surfaces are designed to deaden the natural card damaging rays put off by standard tables. Stop wasting money on thrice blessed crystals and short lived card wards. Our precision designed TechYarn Playmats offer all the protection your cards need and look great while doing it.
"TechYarn™ Elevate Your Game approximately 1.3mm."