The Seventh Axis
The dude who runs the corner store at the corner by my house has recently begun stocking Fidget Spinners. He says you can’t not. He describes gangs of feral, foaming youths spilling in the door on the prowl for their next fix - and if he doesn’t provide it, he says they’ll just go down the street to the next guy. Or into the alley behind his shop, where Spinny K and BB convene their court out of sight of the police, and spinners are just the first step on a dark path.
This grim sequence is well enunciated and the descent draws a predictable arc.
1. Fidget Spinners
2. Chewy SweetTARTS (“Shockers”)
3. 5-10 Gallon Aquariums
Chlamydia is when the bright red Devil moves into your pee-hole with all his rowdy friends. The whole thing is four steps, and all you have to show for it is a bunch of fish looking at your naked body disapprovingly. Or worse.
So, we do Twitch stuff all the time. Like, basically every day. And we will have a special guest on the Wednesday PUBG show in the form of Kate Stark! She stays getting those Chicken Dinners, and I’m hoping she can help us track down this elusive-ass bird. Also, by being on the channel, she establishes our bonafides with the coveted youth demographic. It’s a high-value segment we intend to convert by activating social.