Big Walk fucks. Even the reviews of the game are good! It occurs to me that this might be ambiguous phrasing. What I mean is that the reviews themselves are of a high quality. They can't wait to tell people about it! They had so much weird fun that they have been transformed into repeater stations - they're shedding spores. They've reached the fruiting phase! That's how good it is.
Morak said almost immediately upon leaving the tutorial hall that it was like a Multiplayer Myst. He may not recall that there was such a thing, and he certainly wouldn't know that you can go there now for free. Or that Total Mayhem has been ploughing that "Multiplayer Myst" field for a minute now, though I suspect a modern audience would call these "digital puzzle rooms." Even if this knowledge were well-distributed, I don't think anybody is doing it like the certified goofballs at House House. I sometimes wonder what their conversations are like with publishers. "We'd like to make a game about a goose with a vendetta" or "We'd like to make a game about people who are very long. Maybe even too long." Luckily, their publisher is Panic. Along with all the pervert weirdo stuff they've already published, they made the Playdate. So they can't tell anybody shit.
Big Walk is artisanal friendslop, as I've suggested, or you can access the proposed new terminology in the strip. The point of the game is that You're Trying To Get Dongs. Well, that's what we call them. Which is to say, that what I call them with sufficient repetition to ensure that no other name is realistically considered. I fill the entire addressable volume like a xenon flame suppression system. A few other people call them Kongs like the dog thing you put peanut butter in, which is fine, but let's be honest with ourselves right now - it's no Dong.
You are trying to solve puzzles and get the Dongs so you can put them in these little depressions, these Dong-holders, which I call Thongs. I haven't gotten a high level of uptake on this new nomenclature, even though I've tried to cement it with an unrelenting campaign featuring Sisqo's seminal salvo "Thong Song." It's early days yet. We'll see. Dong hole, also in the running. Strapper Keeper? Hm.
Aside from how to puppeteer your Weird Little Guys, the game has very little to tell you about what you're supposed to do. That's the most Myst thing about it, except now you have to figure it out with a bunch of other people and the most restricted voice chat I've heard in a hot minute. More restricted than they intended, maybe. There's a question in the Official FAQ that's like, so, I can't use Discord? And because they're very nice, they answer nicely. But they're essentially saying that these limitations around communication and how you best them, well… are the game. And they're right! I guess they would know.
(CW)TB out.
