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Tycho / on Wed, Mar 10 2021 at 12:01 am

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Cash Money

Sometimes there would be change in the junk drawer at my house. This shrapnel, combined with redemption from bottles we found or "borrowed," kept me stacked with rattling boxes of Mr. Melon and Alexander The Grape. One thing we didn't have, and this is an interesting distinction, was direct access to the entirety of our parents' liquid assets if they accidentally left a sign-in somewhere.

I'm not trying to say it couldn't have been avoided - this isn't about how there need to be better child controls or something. Lots of platforms have child controls, some of them very good, that most parents don't even know about. I'm just saying that there's probably, as an offhand guess, eight to ten credentialed devices around my house in varying states of access and some of them aren't as clamped down as they could be. This isn't meant to establish the primacy of the Elder Times. I'm of the position that all times suck shit for the vast majority of their participants. I'm just saying that giving your parents' money to strangers has never been easier to do and I think it's a feature not a bug.

A foetid gust of rank air heralds their arrival - evil men! Men who disdain all hallowed law, men for whom napkins are a mere suggestion. Gary Whitta, and his hideous satellite Dollar Store Will Smith! They have levelled their clubs at us, ruddy with the blood of good and honest folk, and we have crossed ours with theirs - gleaming, sturdy shafts crown'd with dutiful heads. Come see me punished repeatedly, over and over, for talking this kind of shit at today's match - it all starts at 2pm PDT, but the channel is gonna be jumping from noon on, and even after, until like… Seven. Observe:

(CW)TB out.


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