Mork is up to his ass in Spiderian delights, pausing only briefly to lament a curtailing of his alien bioweapons. I wondered if Alan Wake 2 might turn his head, but he feels the same way about Alan Wake 2 that he has always felt about Alan Wake. That's what Monday's strip is about.
He can play it any time, but doesn't want to. I wanted to play it, but couldn't. I've been working on this shit for fucking hours - I literally just got done. Part of the issue was that there was a problem with my bar. It was a recalcitrant, stubborn, frankly donkey-like bar that refused to resize. We've all seen them: rowdy young bars, rough and ready, convinced that their current size is the correct one and God Damn any man who tried to tell them otherwise.
About a year after I made this computer, Bar Resizability swept the nation like a newfangled dance manuever. Soon, everybody was doing it. But I was doing something else in 20-21 - I don't remember what - so I didn't know about these bars. Luckily, all I had to do was install a bunch of potentially catastrophic BIOS updates to my motherboard and videocard. The videocard one was particularly fraught; There were six different upgrades, and each one only applied to a specific range of initial firmware. I tried to use the official software to find this update, but it said it couldn't find an update if I was asking from the US, "Asia," or Europe, and that I already had the latest if I said I was in China.
Eventually, I struck gold on the real vBIOS - trusty ol' F3 -but it wouldn't install because it "couldn't find the existing vBIOS version." I found a thread where somebody had found the password for the .zip file on a "German Website" that would allow manual extraction and execution. Really. That's how the story ends. It's "buildforge" by the way, if you're ever presented with a password prompt three or four hours into your own hideous journey.
Before I enhanced my bar, protagonist Saga Anderson got out of her car in Bright Falls, Washington to find that her head was now a gaunt and angular pinata - surely a sign of cosmic interference in our realm. When I met Officer What's-His-Fuck at the cafe, coffees in hand, his left eye wasn't an eye as we think of it but a dark, inverted triangle. Maybe it can see things we can't! The way it seemed to distend the lower lid was troubling. Anyway, he has eyes now. I think I'll try to play it.