I saw He-Man shit at other kids' houses, but like a lot of the eighties it simply wasn't allowed in my house. Even The Smurfs were considered a monstrous affront - not only the sorcerer Gargamel, but the "demonic" Smurfs used magic as well! My mother had a book called Turmoil In The Toybox which she used as a kind cultural baleen to winnow the (sacred) wheat from the (profane) chaff, because sometimes you gotta look really really hard at toys in order to figure out why they're bad and that's why it's somebody's full-time job. You might think My Little Pony is about little horse dolls, but what these wanton mares actually do is seize daughters nationwide and corrupt them into hellbound sluts.
I would get scared if the next show came on after an authorized show and I didn't change the channel fast enough. This was my "spirit man" "convicting" me. Which, I mean, I don't know. I don't know anything about spirits. Sounds ghost adjacent, though. Which is… bad? I was at a birthday sleeperover where they had rented The Last Unicorn. I ran into the kitchen, started to cry, and then called my mom to come pick me up.
I think I mentioned it already, but the Netflix show GLOW was on a super long time ago so it probably bears repeating: it uses a song called The Warrior as its theme, and I thought it was an original song. I couldn't believe how they'd nailed the era. You definitely want to watch that video, by the way. Just click on it. Shit, dude - I'll make another link down here. I missed out on some crazy stuff.
Some of it I tried to check out later, my mom told me the band "KISS" stood for "Killers In Satan's Service" which made them seem like supernatural assassins on a mission to cull the believer - pretty hardcore activity. When I finally had access to it, it was incredibly silly. It was just a bunch of boys doing the most "boy" shit imaginable. They were very naughty. We had methadone versions of most major bands, and emerging into the culture via the Internet it was very strange to find out that all the Holy bands I was allowed to listen to were just, like, Ronnie James Dio or something with the serials filed off.
It sounds like Mork was able to get Kara to go to He-Man with him, which is good; I was the target of his initial offer and I don't know if I constitute a natural ally. I mean, I was changing the channel pretty fuckin' fast.
(CW)TB out.
