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Tycho / on Mon, May 30 2016 at 12:01 am

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Flatev is like a Keurig, but instead of squeezing out an opaque, coffee-adjacent ichor, it microbakes tiny corn disks.  That’s sort of the form factor, now: tools for living, contained within deployable ammunition.

In this case, you know, Tortilla Bullets.  Maybe not just tortillas always, though.  Maybe other things our species desperately needs.

I spent most of the weekend testing out an interesting PC configuration for VR, which really means I fucked around for hours and hours, but that’s neither here nor there: the main things I determined were that I love Hitman GO VR and that, for some reason - feel free to think I’m crazy, you would almost certainly be right - what I want in VR is, um… boardgames.

Maybe you haven’t played Hitman GO.  It’s like a time sliding puzzle, where the tiles can kill each other.  Everything the Gamespot review of Hitman GO VR is correct if you’ve already played it a bunch, but the fact that the game isn’t overwhelming visually - that is to say, it is not larded with the borderline pornographic levels of stimuli our kind apparently require - is something I really, really like.

I mean, I’m going to download and play Dragon Front, absolutely.  There are cards, and there are numbers on the cards, and there is a grid.  I’m playing Dragon Front.  But it’s trying to impress me with AC/DC style pyrotechnics and I don’t need that at all.  Trying to convince me of a normal thing, or to present stimuli perfectly without fetishization or gouts of flame, is just as valid as trying to trick me into thinking I’m in some kinda tree place elves hang out.

Like, legit; Hearthstone is cool, but there’s lots of amazing card games online - Hearthstone is neat from an execution perspective because it understands itself in physical space.  I just want to play something like Hearthstone or Carcassonne, I don’t need to be in a real Inn or whatever, I don’t need to be in a real countryside.  I think some of these dudes need to stuff their dicks back in their pants and start with the basics.  I want the VR equivalent ofSorrowful Rice; I want a normal thing, that can teach me about normal things.

(CW)TB out.

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