Writing reviews is like pulling teeth for me, like pulling my own teeth with no help and improvised tools. Here's your Xbox Controller S review. I'm going to try to get this second one out, but I wouldn't put much stock in it. My keyboard and I seem to be fighting.

The Neo-Geo got mentioned on Slashdot today. I started to scroll down through the comments and immediately saw emulators mentioned. I quickly closed my browser window and took some deep calming breaths. I am not going to have this argument today. I am not going to have this argument today. I AM NOT GOING TO HAVE THIS ARGUMENT TODAY!

Sorry for the lack of posts. I honestly didn't think anyone would care if I skipped a few days. It turns out many of you were interested in hearing my thoughts on the poor Star Wars Episode 2 reviews floating around. I'll tell you Thursday after I see it. Oh and for those of you who have already seen it, please stop filling my mail box with spoilers.

• Invasive Advertising: This is fascinating stuff, I almost wonder why it took them so long. Seriously though, article guys, listen. You're calling these pieces of advertising software that install themselves via known security holes - viruses, essentially - anyway, you're calling them Malware, and that is a pretty stupid name. I don't even care that you didn't come up with it. Why not Warewolves? Or maybe Badvertising? That took like five seconds.

• Strange Horizons: I think it's adorable when people use the term Speculative Fiction, it seems like a code-word catch-all for geek shit. Well, Strange Horizons is a weekly journal of that, and I've had some pretty good times there - John Scalzi (whose Agent To The Stars you might have read recently) dropped Alien Animal Encounters, but that's only one example. They update every Monday, but if you've never been there before, it doesn't really matter what day you go. You haven't seen it anyway.

• Cartoonist's Choice Awards: If I recall correctly, last year's Cartoonists Choice Awards were a sort of front for the Keenspot Awards, or at least any reasonable person would have assumed that from the list of nominees. If you are a cartoonist, they are seeking out your favorite online works in a handful of genres, like "Best Something Something" and "Best Stuff." We turned down our nomination last year as one of the Best Gaming Comics - you are welcome to call me a fucker for it, but I don't have any intention of vying for position in a genre I helped create.

• World RPS Society: Yes, they do mean Rock, Paper, Scissors. I had After Dark 4.0 for my 5300 where I used to work, and you can bet your ass I spent the whole day watching wily Rocks do battle with Paper which was also doing battle with Scissors at the time. Hone strategies with he world's best.

• Roadies: I'm always hearing that people from Britain or whatever need to be boiled right away, when really, I think that's something we can put off for a bit. I mean, who would make Flash games like Roadies, which is itself a sublime combination of Lemmings and The Incredible Machine?

• Ludology: From the site - "Ludology is a new discipline that studies games in general and computer games in particular. Here you will get news, opinions, upcoming conferences and links to articles." Well, yeah. That sounds like a site I want to go to.

Fear not - though it might appear that today's stork spearheads a nightmarish foray into dreaded Continuity, you may put your mind at ease. The devious machinations of Thomas Kemper will assuredly bear bitter fruit, but they certainly aren't going to do it tomorrow.

Gas Powered just dropped the mighty Siege Editor, the tools to let you poke and prod DS. I don't know if it's exactly the same as what they used, but it looks a hell of a lot like what I saw there.

Here is another one for the “why in Gods name would they release these screenshots” file. I love X-men as much as the next guy but these shots look like cheap ass. I understand you PR guys are all anxious to get the word out on your hot new game but this is ridiculous. At least wait until it looks decent before you go showing your ass all over town.

I would just like to say how happy I am that Namco is working on GameCube titles. I am sure Star Fox will be fantastic considering how good Starblade was. However, of all the games mentioned the one that has me drooling is their unnamed racing game. When they mention that it will be the "next evolution of Ridge Racer" I get all warm inside. I think that Ridge Racer Type 4 for the PSX is the greatest racing game ever made. No other racing game before or since has been able to grab hold of me the way R4 did. I spent months with that game trying to shave fractions of seconds off my lap times. I think that ridge racer V on the PS2 was more of a shitty technology demo than a game and so I don't really consider it a part of the series. If Namco is able to bring back all the great stuff from Type 4 like the story mode and the wicked cars then I will be one happy camper. I've got my fingers crossed.

• Ant City: Sent in by Ian from XenGamers, he said it was probably worth about five minutes of fun. Maybe if you play it once, it is. Like the proverbial Pringles brand snack chip, once one has initiated the popping process it is difficult (if not impossible) to halt the procedure.

• The Parking Lot Is Full: I actually found out about Plif and Jerkcity on the same day, instructed thus by the inimitable Monk-e on the Penny Arcade IRC channel. You can only imagine what that day was like. No matter. The Parking Lot Is Full is being put to sleep, has been I should say, so head over to the morgue and ogle the corpse with the others.

• Project Solinari: These guys review games - mainly ones that could be considered classic, which is typically a euphemism for "very old." Nostalgia trips galore.

• A Glimpse Of Our Terrifying Cyber Future: I don't know what Sony could possibly be thinking, mass-producing these vicious robo-youngsters. Time was, you could just push a robot down and they'd roll the credits while you got your chaste mack on in ninteen-fifty. Not so, anymore. These little bastards will turn on the juice and burn your whole head, they don't care.

• Save The Pak Mann Arcade, Goddamit: I don't live anywhere near here, but I was sent this by someone who does. So save it, already!

• Save Internet Radio While You're At It: Feel free to save the other thing first, if you're in the middle of that. I don't want to be a bother. But as I've been putting plans together for our radio station (Ping Radio, yes, named after the wayward duckling), I'd become aware that the concept of Internet Radio is sort of on the ropes. Now, for what we plan to do, we probably wouldn't have to pay a lot - we were never going to run twenty-four seven, like a regular station might. The idea that Internet Radio would be even remotely injurious to artists (read: labels) is, to my mind, an avaricious yarn spun from pure fancy. The issue is too much in the margin to have its ramifications understood by those who will be asked to arbitrate it, so I fear we can chalk this one up to Team Fucker.

Without warning, vile continuity struck in the night.

As Tycho mentioned our Import Gaming 101 feature is now online. Please keep sending me your import gaming questions. I have already spoken to Travis about it and he would be happy to continue answering your questions in this manner. If you do decide to try importing games you should defiantly do it through his shop, videogamedepot.com. I have dealt with them on quite a few occasions now and they certainly get the Penny Arcade seal of approval.

We've got what you need, provided you need something very specific, like one of our comics.

Other than that, Gabe and I are in perfect agreement.

Nothing I do is ever good enough for you. Sorry I'm not fucking perfect like you!

Other than that, Gabe and I are in perfect agreement.

The Spiderman movie is the reason god invented the cinema.