It's really a race, now, between Monkey and myself, to finish our posts and be counted on the front page.

E3 means Penny Arcade's E3 Sketchbook! Today’s comic concerns the US Army game.

In fact, we're quite the opposite.

If there were a Return To Castle Wolfenstein Expansion Pack, and I'm not saying there is, it might include another class altogether - one that specializes in Covert Operations and sneaky stuff. It might include a multiplayer map that takes place in the Single Player campaign's Forest level. Engineers might enjoy an expanded role, with the ability to possibly build bridges, sniper nests, and machinegun emplacements. They might also leverage powerful new weapons, like Land Mines or Grenade Launchers. Soldiers could appreciate the FG42 Paratrooper rifle, or even a mobile MG42. This game, which exists purely in the realm of Theory, might include full bot support, were it to be an actual product that was in alpha now.

It's from a couple months ago, so you might not remember the coupons I got for my birthday.

Where the hell did this Zanzarah thing come from, Germany? I never know what you guys are going to do next. For the uninitiated, Zanzarah is a 30/30/30 combination of Magic: The Gathering, Quake One, and Pokemon. The remaining ten percent acts as a reservoir for cream. It's nuts, and the production values (especially on some of this audio!) are through the roof. I had a hell of a lot of fun with the demo, although I'm not sure if they had me in mind when they made it. Playing a girl who captures fairies in a magical forest is not something I would tell my psychologist I spent my weekend doing.

To help people get their Afterburners installed, we're offering (free of charge) this handy addendum to the manual. I'm not saying you aren't capable of it, I mean, shit, we did it. But to get everything absolutely perfect would require an act of God in my opinion, and as I've gone into already, I'm agnostic.

In a concept that appears to be strung together from every game fantasy I've ever put in a post, this whole "Savage" thing really has me going. There is information available on it at both GameSpy and Gamespot - but in a nutshell, we're talking about an RTS/FPS hybrid. Ooooh!

HI

Here is a quick update to let you know that I don’t care if you didn’t like Episode II, that’s your own goddamned problem. Stop filling my mail box with your inane crap. So you think the acting was shitty and the story was stupid and the romance was lame blah blah blah. I don’t care. How about you type out your four paragraph letter to me exposing Episode II for the shoddy piece of cinema that it is but then instead of hitting send you hit delete and just pretend you sent it to me. Okay? Is it a deal you retards? Great, thanks.

A week or so ago, I mentioned that you could get your mitts on a beta of the Neverwinter Nights tools - all you had to do was pre-order, which any sentient being has already done.

Check this out - Monkey and I saw Episode II on a system like that, and if you can possibly wrangle it, I'd recommend you see it (or see it again, perhaps) on a digital screen. That shit be mad crisp. It was like they had a gigantic monitor in the theater.

I cried during Episode II.

I saw the greatest Ad Council banner ever the other day on Planet GameCube, and I just wanted to share it with everyone. Sublime!

Extra flavour.

The latest strip is up. Coolest Dad ever? By comparison, my own father is like a drunken, toothless hobo gumming a hot dog.